Levi Johnston’s Wedding Was As Trashy As You’d Expect

The groom wore camouflage.

Levi Johnston tied the knot with his baby mama Sunny Oglesby in Wasilla, Alaska, last week. Inside Edition reports he was "was sweating profusely during the ceremony," perhaps because he realized that a camo bowtie and vest was not a good look on one’s wedding day.

Noticably absent from the wedding was Tripp, Levi’s four-year-old son with Bristol Palin. Levi blabbed to Inside Edition that he had asked Bristol to have Tripp for the weekend so his son could serve as ring bearer, but she refused. Same old Palins. 

Levi Johnston is now working as an electrician in Alaska and swears his "Hollywood" days are over. "You couldn’t pay me enough to go back to that place," he told the show. "It just wasn’t who I was." Might this be the last we hear from them?

Eh, probably not. 

Contact the author of this post at Jessica.Wakeman@Gmail.com. Follow me on Twitter.

Your Daily Guide to Trending Topics

Every day there are some topics that are trending. Since many of them don’t make sense, we provide easy contextualization. Also, this way, you won’t actually have to know anything about anything.

Chris Birdman Andersen
Google Trends is a dark place to start your morning. After you move past our obsession with the tit heard round the world (also known as the cover of Time magazine), you land here: The kiddie porn charges swirling around Denver Nuggets center and all-around scary looking dude Chris “Birdman” Andersen. Internet Crimes Against Children investigators seized property from the athlete’s home and cops released a statement saying, “This is an ongoing investigation and there’s lots and lots of work to do until it ever gets to that point.” Andersen has since been indefinitely excused from his Nuggets duties, where at least people could keep an eye on the balls he was handling.

Flesh-Eating Bacteria
If crimes against children doesn’t get you down, try this one: the battle of a 24-year-old Georgia graduate student against necrotizing fasciiti, a flesh-eating disease. The woman contracted it after an accident on zip line and last week had to have her right leg amputated—doctors say her hands and remaining leg might be next to go. Odds are in the next few hours, someone’s going to blame this one on gay marriage.

70-Year-Old Virgin
Yahoo! readers can’t get enough of Pam “The Sexational Pam” Shaw, a 70-year-old bombshell who has decided that it’s time to lose her virginity. Yahoo! users, many over the hill themselves, love that Shaw has been performing for years as a burlesque dancer under a titillating stage name and has even shared a dressing room with the Sex Bomb himself Tom Jones, she’s somehow managed kept her virtue intact. Now, she tells the Sun, she’s looking for a handsome millionaire who’s into really old virgins. Good luck with that, Pam!

John Edwards
Yahoo!’s loins are on fire today when it comes to the elderly. Readers can’t stop searching for news about one-time presidential hopeful and haircut enthusiast John Edwards, whose campaign finance violating trail is still dragging itself out. But who cares about pilfered funds when there’s news about Edwards’ crazy, blonde jump-off Rielle Hunter! It seems that Edwards’ baby mama, who allegedly collected all kinds of cash from his campaign to keep her mouth shut and her pants off, won’t be testifying in his trial, which is set to wrap up today.

John Travolta
It’s a bad day for Johns. Get it? Following one of the top trending items on Bing we find out that John Travolta’s woes—which we’ve told you about before—continue to pile up as the reportedly packing (if not manscaped) actor is facing another charge of sexual harassment, this time from a former cruise line employee who claims Travolta offered him 12K for sex. Meanwhile, the actor’s lawyers are doing their best to disprove the charges, of which there are now three, but seem to be making little headway in the court of public opinion.

Bristol Palin
The good people of Twitter are frantically hashtagging posts with #bristolpalin, a nod to the reality star and single mom who came out swinging against President Obama’s support of gay marriage. Considering the stunning wisdom we’re used to receiving from Bristol and the Palin family at large, her uninformed and thoughtless comments on this topic have left millions of fans disillusioned and disappointed.

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Ten Reasons To Dismiss Bristol Palin’s Idiot Words

Foolish daughter of an idiot woman Bristol Palin has been in the news recently for lambasting President Obama for his courageous—if begrudingly given—endorsement of same sex marriage. Coincidentally, her terrible memoir, Not Afraid of Life, is coming out in paperback. In order so that you don’t have to read it—which would be like that machine in The Princess Bride for your brain—here are the best worst lines with which to soothe yourself from her inane arguments against Obama. Use them as mantras to calm yourself, for after all, if a person is capable of writing these lines, no credence should be given to anything she ever says, ever.  

"Seven in ten teens have had sex by the time they turn nineteen, frequently in sprite of their best intentions and moreal beliefs." 

"Arctic Cat is the manufacturer of my favorite snowmachines…and I’m not just saying that because they sponsor my dad in the Iron Dog!"

"I just loved babies—real ones!—like most girls love toys or dolls."

"Uncle Mikle prepped the Taser, and Payton started getting more and more nervous….I never really thought Uncle Mike would actually go through with it…But I was wrong." 

"In the seventh grade, my locker was right beside Levi Johnston’s."

"Once a note landed on my desk and I carefully unfolded the paper. I gasped when I read what [Levi] had written.  Will u be my gurl?"

"I thought I was headed into an evening of harmless high school fun. But really, I was headed into the deep quicksand of sexual sin, during a night that I barely remembered. The next morning I woke up…." 

"’I’m not going to show my stomach because I have a son at home,’" I told them, "’And I’m not going to show cleavage because that looks just like a butt crack.’" 

"It helps to reach out to the only one who truly offers hope in this world. No, not President Obama. Isaiah 41:10 says…."

"To Paige Adams Geller, the Wasilla girl who founded Paige Premium Deni, and who keeps my entire family looking good in PPD!" 

Chatting With Melissa Farman About Playing Bristol Palin in ‘Game Change’

Less than a year after President Obama was inaugurated, journalists John Heilemann and Mark Halperin released the definitive chronicle of the heated 2008 election. Game Change was an immediate best-seller, offering a shocking behind-the-scenes look at four of the major presidential campaigns. While Obama, the Clintons, and John Edwards weren’t given any passes in the book, it was the McCain/Palin campaign that proved to be the most fascinating storyline. As Sarah Palin and her family were ripped apart by the national media and their personal secrets and faults exposed on front pages across the country, the story seemed ripe for a film adaptation. This Saturday, just two years after the book’s publication, Jay Roach’s Game Change will premiere on HBO with a big-name cast featuring Julianne Moore as Palin and Ed Harris as John McCain.

But you can’t make a movie about Sarah Palin without including her daughter, Bristol, who was pushed into the spotlight as the poster girl for teenage pregnancy. Stepping into the crucial role is Melissa Farman, with whom we spoke about the controversial film, working with Julianne Moore, and the pressure of playing a real-life celebrity.

It’s nearly impossible to not know the story of Game Change already, but had you read the book before you started shooting?
I did! I’m actually a senior at University of Southern California where I’m a double-major in political science and English lit. I was actually reading the book for class a few months before I auditioned. So it’s funny, having studied the book and kind of seeing the script come to life just a few months later.

It’s interesting that it’s focusing primarily on the McCain/Palin campaign, which I think is the more juicy part of the story. Was it kind of a challenge to portray someone is who still alive and still making news? Were you hesitant about that?
I think it’s daunting. You have a responsibility toward that person that is very much alive, not only just alive but alive in the media. There’s definitely going to be a lot more scrutiny, and there’s a sense of wanting not to just mimic the person and wanting to be free to create a character. At the same time, having that responsibility is what makes it all the more exciting. It’s also helpful to have someone who’s so much in the public’s conscience right now, in the sense that there was so much media around Bristol. The film focalizes on the campaign trail and how all of a sudden she was thrown into the limelight. I could really watch so much footage of her really getting used to the camera and kind of developing her personality once she was on the public stage. There was a lot of material for me to study, which was great.

I saw the Palin people have already attacked the film.
My cousin just sent me a YouTube video where some Palin supporter re-cut the trailer to show that the film was full of lies. There’s concern for sure, but, you know, if a movie’s being made about you, you’re going to wonder if it’s going to be what you want it to be. I think the film is a very balanced portrayal of Sarah Palin. In politics there’s always bound to be controversy, but I think this is storytelling, and it shows the behind-the-scenes of a campaign — both positive and negative. I think the film really empathizes on a personal level with Sarah Palin the woman. I think that’s something that maybe the Sarah Palin team is scared is not going to happen, but it does.

Has Bristol said anything?
No, she has not come out with anything publicly. I know Megan McCain has, but Bristol hasn’t.

How was it working with Julianne Moore? Is she kind of like an awesome movie mom?
Oh my gosh, it’s amazing. You know, I grew up idolizing her. She’s one of the reasons I started acting. As a kid I was super shy, so my mother put me on stage to help me get rid of my shyness, which is kind of a practical joke when you think of it. But then as I got into theatre, my mom and I would watch movies and go to plays together, and one of my mother’s favorite actresses was Julianne Moore. I grew up basically watching everything Julie did. Having her as an on-screen mom was kind of surreal, but the second I met her I got over it. She’s just so down to earth and makes everyone around her family. She’s really hard-working, and it’s really wonderful for me to watch her work because here’s someone who is at the top of her game and has had such an amazing career. Still, she just keeps working at it, challenging herself in such new ways. Watching her do this and carve this character out when we were working together was really, really inspiring.

You’re currently in school now. Are you finishing up this year?
I’ll probably be finishing up in the summer.

What’s it like balancing an acting career and school?
It’s hard. I was just on CSI last week and I missed a few classes, and the deal with my teachers is that if I miss a class I’ll do double the work. So it’s definitely a commitment, but it means a lot for me to be in school. I love being in school personally, and it gives me a sanctuary where you’re in the city of youth and your only responsibility is to learn; then you go out there in the real world and you’re working. Being a political science and lit major really kind of fuels my acting because I’m really just studying human nature all day and studying storytelling. I’m taking it from a different perspective, so that really fits well with my career.

Do you have anything lined up for once you’re finished?
You’re going to see my on CSI and then on TNT’s Perception, which is coming out in the summer. I got to play the role of Joan of Arc, and my grandmother is very excited. She’s French, so it’s finally a role she’s proud of. Usually I’m with a gun, or pregnant!

Photo by Peter Svenson

Afternoon Links: Monkees Frontman Davy Jones Dead, Bristol Palin Gets a Lifetime Reality Show

● Dreamy Monkee’s frontman, Davy Jones, died of heart attack this morning at the age of 66. The porpoise is waiting, goodbye, goodbye… [TMZ]

● Miami police found a dead body outside of Rick Ross’s home this morning. Rozay was not home when the shooting took place and is not being considered a likely suspect, but he will likely be called in for questioning anyways. Guh! [MiamiTimes]

● Bristol Palin (you haven’t forgotten her yet, have you?) is getting her own Lifetime reality show called Bristol Palin: Life’s a Tripp, wherein she "adjusts to her life in Alaska" and "steadfastly [moves] forward both personally and professionally." [Vulture]

● It’s been a minute since we’ve seen Lindsay Lohan be funny on purpose, but these SNL promos show she’s still got it. [Vulture]

● Don Henely has apparently served Frank Ocean with some sort of cease and desist for his "Hotel California" riffing "American Wedding." And it seems to be working, because there is nary a not-muted version to be found on YouTube. [NME]

● Meryl Streep has given to more than just a school in Viola Davis’s hometown: over the years, Forbes reports, she has given away millions via her Silver Mountain Foundation to very little fanfare. Now that’s charity, no? [Forbes]

Morning Links: Selena Inks ‘Justin’ On Her Wrist, January Jones Petitions for Shark Meat Ban

● Is that “Justin” on Selena’s wrist permanent ink or not? Inquiring tween minds must know – there’s revenge to plot! [Huff Post] ● James Franco bought a yarn sculpture that a 13-year-old Tumblr-using fan made in his likeness, and now the girl thinks that they are “mentally married.” [CTV] ● In his new book, Deer in the Headlights, Levi Johnston says Bristol wanted to get pregnant in revenge for her mother’s pregnancy. Johnston just went along because he was “too dumb” to use protection, amongst other things. [NYDN]

● Jeremy Piven took his three Emmys for a walk through Soho in a double-wide stroller, because he has always been more than a little crazy. (He might have been filming a skit for the Emmys.) [BWE] ● January Jones says no to shark fin soup, and hopes you will do the same. Call your governor today! [Huff Post] ● Kate Plus 8 is over and fans are “devastated,” the kids are “questioning,” and Kate Gosselin is “a little scared,” she says. Reality television lifestyle addiction is apparently a very real thing, and Kate’s public withdrawal is getting sad. [EW]

Morning Links: Amy Winehouse Booed Off Stage, Lady Gaga Strikes Up Friendship with Slavoj Zizek

● E Street Band saxophonist Clarence Clemons passed away over the weekend due to complications from a stroke. Heaven’s being treated to an awesome sax solo right about now. [NYT] ● Yesterday’s Post asked a good question: “Fez? Really?” Just how does a waning c-lister like Wilmer Valderrama, who has been attached to everyone from Lindsay Lohan to Mandy Moore, and, most recently, Demi Lovato, keep getting the girls? Mostly, drinks. Classy! [NYP] ● To nobody’s surprise, Amy Winehouse was stumbling and sloppy — like, really sloppy — at her comeback show in Belgrade. After arriving an hour late and shouting “Hello Athens!,” she was booed of the stage. [DailyMail]

● In her upcoming memoir, Not Afraid of Life: My Journey So Far, Bristol Palin talks about the time she lost her virginity to “the gnat named Levi Johnston” in a cold tent after one too many wine coolers. Then they promised they would never do that sort of thing again until they were married. Which, well… [AP] ● Recently-single Lady Gaga has “struck up a strong friendship” with slobbering philosopher Slavoj Zizek, reports Page Six. She followed him to a union rally and he said he liked her meat dress and they talked about collective human creativity. Gaga has a thing for boy’s with philosophies — it could totally be. [Page Six] ● Frankie Muniz, star of Malcolm in the Middle and not much else, seems to be preparing for a career change. “I’m going to be a politician,” he tweeted. “I’m running for public office. I will be announcing soon.” Things to look forward to! [Frankie Muniz/Twitter]

The Bio Channel Is Giving Bristol Palin a Reality TV Show

Apparently, Bristol Palin is “the most famous single mother in America,” and is therefore deserving of her own reality TV show. The Bio Channel (usually reserved for people with interesting biographies) has commissioned the eldest Palin spawn to star in a 10-episode series, which will document her migration from Arizona to LA, where she will live with fellow Dancing With The Stars competitor Kyle Massey and…work for a charity organization.

Hard to say which part of this is more jarring: The fact that Bristol Palin seriously has her own reality show, the puzzling news that it’s on the Bio Channel, the odd choice to raise her 2-year-old son in a house alongside actor (and brand new BFF) Kyle Massey and his 21-year-old brother Chris Massey, or the “charity” thing.

Massey, who famously appeared as Raven-Symone’s younger brother, Cory Baxter, on Disney Channel’s That’s So Raven, is the only redeemable part of this new show. But one can’t help but wonder why—new bestie role aside—he was Bristol’s first choice for a roommate. Except, of course, that Bio actually needed a likeable character to star in the unnamed reality show.

Morning Links: Lindsay Lohan Thinks Paris Is Mean, Lady Gaga Doesn’t Think ‘Judas’ Is Offensive

● Paris Hilton made a joke on her television show about Lindsay stealing, and Lindsay is all upset. “[Paris] is mean. You don’t have to make fun of serious matter in people’s live to be funny,” says Lohan, interestingly. Wait, did we say interestingly? [TMZ] ● Oh my Glee! Glee Live! In Concert and in 3D, coming to a theater near you this August. Ryan Murphy promises it’ll be a “cinematic experience.” [HR] ● Bristol’s face seems to be changing. Is it plastic surgery? Or just the result of weight change and/or growing up? [NYDN]

● “In my opinion, the only controversial thing about [the “Judas”] video is that I’m wearing Christian Lacroix and Chanel in the same frame,” says Lady Gaga. [MTV] ● Soulja Boy says Drake loved his 4/20 mixtape, Juice, and thinks he’s getting a feature on Drake’s sophomore album, Take Care. Which would be great! But, Soulja Boy also seems to believe that Drake lifted “What’s Hannenin'” from him, so, with a grain of salt, please. [RapRadar] ● From the annals of “Oops! Too Late,” the girls of Teen Mom in a Pro-Cuddling PSA. [Radar]