What Kristen Stewart Is Not Thankful For, In Her Own Words

This Thanksgiving, Kristen Stewart shares what she’s not thankful for. From a series of appearances, premieres, and interviews,  we’ve gathered the top things Stewart will not be praising at her Thanksgiving table. Here they are  – in her own words.

1. Being really hot effortlessly.

“I go outside, and I’m wearing a funky T-shirt and my hair is dirty, and people say, ‘What’s wrong with her? She needs to invest in a hairbrush.’" 

2. Living a charmed life.

“ I feel boring. I feel like, ‘Why is everything so easy for me?’ I can’t wait for something crazy to fucking happen to me. Just life. I want someone to fuck me over. Do you know what I mean?"

3. Having a beloved fanbase.

“Girls are scary. Large groups of girls scare the crap out of me.”

4. Being a part of the Twilight empire. 

“I feel like it’s not going anywhere. It is strange. But things shouldn’t stay stagnant. You’ve got to move on.”

5. Her father’s pride.

“Oh, he loves that I’m famous. He’s a total fame whore. Even if I’m not with him.  he’s like, ‘Hey, I’m John. Stewart. Father of Kristen… Have you ever seen Twilight? Yeah, well, that’s my kid!’ It’s the most embarrassing thing in the world.”

6. Having sex with Robert Pattinson

“The sex scenes were silly, very silly.”

7. Cameras. 

Kristen Stewart

Here’s Ten Whole Seconds of the New ‘Twilight’ Movie

You guyyyyys! It’s almost time for The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn: Part Two: How Many Colons Can We Fit Into One Title! Are you super duper excited? I mean, at least for the fact that this international crisis is ALMOST OVER? I’m not going to lie: I have seen the last three Twilight films in the theater (usually drunk). I will see this one! It will be great / a nightmare, per usual! And thank God there’s now a teaser featuring a brief glimpse of that vampire baby!

I was not joking about it being brief. And I guess she’s not really a baby, as she grows at rapid speed, or something. It’s been years since I’ve read the Wikipedia synopsis for the last book (because I did not read the actual book, duh), so I don’t really remember what’s going to happen in this one except that I think Taylor Lautner has a crush on that vampire kid, which is gross at first because she’s a baby but then it gets totally less weird when she’s an adult (even though it’s still kind of weird because he had a big werewolf boner for her mother). 

Also, Kristen Stewart is now a full-blown vampire with red eyes in this one. And, uh oh, The Volturi are coming, the Volturi are coming! (Keep it in your pants, kids, at least until this November when the film finally hits the big screen.

Afternoon Links: Bobby Womack Diagnosed With Colon Cancer, Madonna Joins Twitter

● On his Facebook today, Bootsy Collins bears the bad news that 68-year-old soul singer Bobby Womack has been diagnosed with colon cancer. "He is Very Up Beat About His Future, we laughed & joked before we hung up," writes Collins, adding that, "Thxs Funkateers, we will get him Back on the One!" [Billboard]

● Russell Brand is literally scrubbing himself clean of Katy Perry by removing his half of their his and hers Sanskrit tattoo. [HollywoodLife]

● For her next big project, Angelina Jolie is pitching a movie about Afghanistan because, she says, "I’ve been there a few times in the last 11 years, and it’s a part of the world we’re all quite aware of now, but… I’m not sure." Okay! [EW]

● Universal and Focus Features have won the much sought-after screen rights to E.L. James’s hugely popular "mommy porn" novel, Fifty Shades of Grey. [Deadline]

● In promotion of her new album MDNA, Madonna has joined Twitter for one day, and, well, just one day only. [CNN]

● In the case that you are not too burned out from The Hunger Games (or maybe because you are burned out from The Hunger Games) here is the first teaser trailer for The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 2. [Vulture]