Chinese Make Strides Towards Gender Equality with Mall Bra-Removal Contest

Bras, bra hooks, removing bras. They’re not really so complicated, unless you have a penis, the magnetic pull of which somehow affects man’s ability to open simple clasps. Man’s ongoing inability to conquer the bra clasp was recently proven at a Chinese mall, as it has been time and time again in the backseats of cars around the world.

Earlier this month, a shopping mall in Guangzhou, China, held a contest to see who could unhook a series of women’s bras the fastest. Eight women stood on a stage wearing only a bra, boy shorts, face masks, and heels, while the male competitors frantically tried to unfasten their bras. Yes, it’s an image that makes one feel good about being a woman.

But, ladies, all is not lost. In an ironic twist, it was actually a woman, not a stubby-fingered man, who won the contest. The female competitor, who wished to remain anonymous, undid all eight bras in just 21 seconds. “I didn’t expect to win,” she said. “Maybe it was because I get so much practice in my everyday life.”

Bras Can Now Control Body Temp and Other Useless Lingerie Developments

Looking to cool down or heat things up this year? Well there’s a bra for you. Apparently there’s a lot going on in the world of lingerie that extends beyond giving breasts and buns a boost. “A Dutch-designed anti-wrinkle bra that can iron out crinkly cleavages as a woman sleeps, and a smart Slovenian brassiere whose foam cups expand with body heat when the wearer works out or flirts, are amid innovations at the January 23-25 Paris trade fair,” reports the Independent. Ironing out your breasts– sounds pleasant.

Also entering the fray of multi-tasking underwear: bras that can moisturize your skin. There is a brand new “French lingerie line called Milkshake in a fabric made of milk proteins that contains 10 amino acids to hydrate the skin,” adds the Independent. Hmmm, I’m skeptical. This all sounds a bit like the recently released Reebok kicks that claim to tone your butt simply by walking in them, which sound too good to be true.