Stephen Colbert Made a Twitter Account for Bill Clinton and You’re Going to Love It

On the Colbert Report last night, Stephen Colbert held a Q&A with President Bill Clinton at the Clinton Global Initiative University, which was, of course, interesting and wonderful all-around. But in speaking to the topic of social media, Colbert brought up that Clinton’s online presence isn’t as well-rounded as it could be. He admitted that he does intact "Facebook" but when comes to Twitter, he’s "insecure—what if you tweet and nobody tweets back? There’s nothing worse than a friendless tweeter." Yes, thank you Bill, glad to know you share in the collective fear of tweeting into the abyss as well.

But naturally, good ol’ Colbert took matters into his own hands to open a Twitter account for Clinton with the genius handle of @PrezBillyJeff—when, you know, anything less satisfying was unavailable. And for his first and only tweet thus far, Colbert prompted PrezBilly to think of a good 140 characters or less, resulting in: "Just spent amazing time with Colbert. Is he sane? He is cool." Sound about right. 

Thus far this is the only tweet, and there’s no word on whether or not Clinton will keep up the tweets—but let’s hope he does. Oh and pics, I want pics. But in the meantime, watch the interview from last night’s show in its entirety HERE and keep an eye on your new favorite account.

coolguy

Linkage: Lindsay Lohan Might Be an Escort, Jessica Simpson Can’t Stop Bonin’, & a Kris Kross Reunion

If you’re wondering how the hell Lindsay Lohan can get away with jetting across the globe and staying in fancy hotels with nothing but money from Playboy shoots and Lifetime movies, here’s a possible explanation on where she gets her money: she might be working as a high-class escort for the rich and not-so-famous. Some of her alleged clients include Prince Haji Abdul Azim, third in line of the throne of Brunei (which is a real place, not like Genovia), and painter Domingo Zapata. Of course, these allegations come from her scumbag father, Michael Lohan, so take them with a couple shakers of salt. [Radar]

Nicole Kidman is on the cover of The Hollywood Reporter, and she dishes about Scientology—sort of. When pressed, she’ll say only: ‘I’ve chosen not to speak publicly about Scientology. I have two children [adopted with Cruise] who are Scientologists—Connor [the Red Dawn actor is now 17] and Isabella [20]—and I utterly respect their beliefs.’” The cover story also revels that Modern Family’s Sophia Vergara was director Lee Daniels’s first choice for Kidman’s role in The Paperboy, so just imagine that crazy lady doing her own hair and makeup and peeing on Zac Efron. [THR]

Jessica Simpson, as always, is both a good indicator of the failures of sex education in this country and an example of how annoying celebrities can be if their publicists can’t get them to shut the hell up. The occasional singer and sometimes actress told Jay Leno last night that she’d like to get married to fiancé Eric Johnson, with whom she has one child and a second on the way, but, in her words, “he keeps knocking me up.” [Fox News]

Sarah Jessica Parker replaced Demi Moore as Gloria Steinem in the upcoming Lovelace, premiering at Sundance, after Moore’s hospitalization for exhaustion early last year. It turns out it was all for naught: Steinem’s role in the film has been cut. [EW]

Because of money, NBC is going to roll poor Betty White out again and make her watch a bunch of people “pay tribute” to her for Betty White’s 2nd Annual 90th Birthday Special. The party’s guest list includes folks like Blake Shelton, Bill Clinton, and Larry King, because who else could possibly ruminate on all of Betty White’s achievements as an old actress who still makes dirty jokes when forced to read from cue cards in front of a TV camera? [Deadline]

Kris Kross are getting back together because they left a lot of things unsaid, a lot of pants unsagged, and also realized how much of a boner everyone has for the ’90s. [Vulture]

Does keeping a “princess-free” household promote feminist ideals in children or just keep them from having fun? [Jezebel]

Die Hard director John McTiernan is headed to jail for a year and must pay a $100,000 fine. And no, it’s not because he directed that Rollerball remake. [Indiewire]

R.I.P., old guy from old TV show. [TMZ]

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Questions We Have About Monica Lewinsky’s Forthcoming Book

Monica Lewinsky is shopping a "top secret book project," Page Six reports. All publishers meeting with the world’s most infamous intern are required to sign non-disclosure agreements prior to discussions. Naturally, inquring minds are left with many questions about Monica’s future book:

  • Could there really be anything in Lewinsky’s book we didn’t already hear in The Starr Report?
  • What has it been like dating? I mean, how do you write a J-Date profile?
  • Hillary or Barack supporter in the 2008 primary?
  • The ethics of unpaid summer internships: your thoughts?
  • Did that blue dress eventually get dry cleaned?
  • Spit or swallow?
  • Linda Tripp: worst friend or worst-est friend?
  • What is the meaning of the word "is"?
  • Have you ever been able to be near someone smoking a cigar again?

As enlightening or entertaining as a Monica Lewinsky book might be (assuming it’s a tell-all and not The Devil Eats Big Macs), you know there has never been before and never will be again a media blitz as crazy as Rielle Hunter’s.

Contact the author of this post at Jessica.Wakeman@Gmail.com. Follow me on Twitter and Tumblr.

You Guys, The ’90s

As an idiot millennial twentysomething, I cannot legally blog for a week without mentioning that I love the hell out of some 1990s. Take for example these Archers of Loaf reissuestotally rad. I haven’t gotten around to the original versions of these albums, though, because I’m still working through the early stuff. Someday!

Speaking of ‘90s music, can you believe that the M83 song “Midnight City” samples Bill Clinton playing saxophone on the Arsenio Hall Show? MIND BLOWN.

I mainly love the ‘90s because I was ten years old back then. Not for the whole decade, but I’m pretty sure I was ten somewhere in there. With a mushroom cut. Also Bugle Boy sweatsuits. In a few different color patterns.

My parents didn’t let me watch a lot of TV, but I can tell you there were great shows on back then. Easily the best was Legends of the Hidden Temple, which was like if GUTS were about Indiana Jones instead of getting pelted with Nerf balls. (Oh yeah, Nerf!) My favorite episode of Hidden Temple was the one with the giant talking stone head. And, if you absolutely forced me to choose, my favorite episode of Are You Afraid of the Dark? has to be the one with the campfire.

Hey, come back: I remember some other stuff about the ‘90s. Like how the police were caught on video beating up O. J. Simpson. The Yankees were unbelievably good the whole time. Nothing was cooler than yo-yos.

And we all knew that global warming was real.

Five Questions For Internet Week Honcho David-Michel Davies

How is Internet Week different from any other week, you might ask? Are you required to do more tweeting, Facebook stalking, online shopping, Grindring and illegal downloading? No, you are not.

Internet Week, which kicks off today, is a seven-day festival of panels, parties, workshops and Klout superstars that celebrates the way the web has influenced the culture and people of New York.

We sat down with festival co-chair David-Michel Davies to find out what Bjork, Bill Clinton and Instagram all have in common.

What exactly is Internet Week?
It’s a city-wide festival celebrating our industry’s thriving community. It’s a fun and interesting model for a festival in that it really mirrors the way the Internet works. Instead of us sitting in a room and coming up with events, we work closely with New York’s Internet community to program the festival, which means there are more than 200 events that are thrown by all sorts of different organizations under the festival’s umbrella. Those range from panels and conferences to arts events and parties. We also have a 50,000-square-foot headquarters at 82 Mercer Street. It’s relevant to what’s happening on the Internet today because the content is created by the city itself.

What events are you most looking forward to?
I’m excited to see the New York City photo exhibit at the W Times Square. It’s New York’s most talented Instagram photographers taking photos of the city and shown in a gallery there. There’s another exhibit at a Soho gallery called The Art of Apps, where people like Peter Rojas will have an exhibit of art interfaced with iPhone and iPad by some of the world’s top designers. And we’re having a panel at the headquarters with comedian Billy Eichner and others talking about comedy on the Internet.

And you also produce the Webby Awards, right?
We do produce the Webby Awards, which will be on May 21 at the Hammerstein Ballroom and will be hosted by Patton Oswalt, so it’ll be super funny. Even if you can’t come to the show, it’s live streamed at webbyawards.com at 5:30 EST and anyone can tune in. We’ll be honoring Louis C.K., we’ll be honoring Bjork, we’ll have a special tribute to Steve Jobs that we’ve been working on which will feature video message from President Clinton, Al Gore, Jimmy Fallon and more.

Do you see Internet Week as helping the pale, sweats-clad people of the web overcome the stereotype of being socially awkward loners?
The thing about it is that the web is really the hub of pop culture today. When I was younger it was television, that was the media that drove conversation. Today that’s the internet. We see all sorts of type of culture emerging online and Internet Week is a way of seeing that and bringing it to life in real space. Absolutely it’s a way to see people outside of behind the screens, but it’s also mirroring how vital the Internet is to the world.

The 17-Minute President Obama Campaign Ad, ‘The Road We’ve Traveled,’ Is Here

This year’s presidential election will rely on more rhetoric and flim-flammery than ever, which is why the campaign to re-elect President Obama has commissioned a pretty nice piece of persuasive literature: The Road We’ve Traveled, a Tom Hanks-narrated documentary that makes the case for the president by recapping his first term in office. Over 17 minutes, familiar faces such as Chicago mayor Rahm Emanuel, Senate candidate Elizabeth Warren, vice president Joe Biden and former president Bill Clinton show up to reason for Obama’s success in the face of conflict. Covered: the financial crisis, the auto bailout, the unemployment surge, the universal health care debate, finally killing Osama bin Laden, and more. Not covered: how he decides which battleground state to patronize on his NCAA tournament bracket (You should’ve picked Kentucky this time, Mr. President. Maybe it’ll go blue this year!). Watch it after the click, via the Obama campaign.

In response, the Romney campaign released a well-reasoned counter-documentary, arguing against all of the President’s accomplishments with logic and good faith. Of course not! They just forwarded along the video for Kid Rock’s "American Badass," which is pretty juvenile. (Reached for similar response, the Santorum campaign sent back a "FAILURE TO SENDER" e-mail.) Don’t forget to vote in about seven-and-a-half months.

Bill Clinton Asked Steve Jobs for Help with the Lewinsky Scandal

Portions of Walter Isaacson’s biography of Steve Jobs have been leaking out with all sorts of interesting tidbits. He preferred Issey Miyake shirts over St. Croix; he thought Mick Jagger was “brain-damaged” when they met; and he believed Bill Gates could benefit from tripping his ass off on acid. The most unexpected thing to come to light thus far though, has got to be a late night call from Bill Clinton asking for Jobs’ help with the Monica Lewinsky scandal.

The pair became friends when Chelsea went to Standford and Jobs called to offer them a place to stay when they were in town. Still, he seems like an odd choice for someone to call for advice since Jobs never went through a highly public cheating scandal.

Clinton: So Steve, how do I use your Apple Time Machine? I need to go back to 1994 and not do some stuff. Jobs: It’s not an actual time machine. It’s for backing-up files. Clinton: How fast and how much will it cost for an actual Delorean? Jobs: No. Just no.

Ok, that didn’t actually happen. In reality, Jobs’ advice. “I don’t know if you did it, but if so, you’ve got to tell the country.”

The book comes out on Monday.

Morning Links: Rick Ross Gets a Ride from DJ Khaled, Nicki Minaj Imitates Lil Wayne

● According to essayist and homeowner John Jeremiah Sullivan, eight or nine people make a pilgrimage to his house each day, which is also the house where the Peytons “live” on One Tree Hill. [GQ] ● Bill Clinton isn’t afraid to make fun at himself or the Clinton Foundation in this new Funny or Die video, wherein he is joined by a “celebrity army” in mocking his “actionable climate change initiatives.” [THR] ● Rick Ross is hitching a ride home on DJ Khaled’s tour bus after suffering two seizures on two flights in one day. Easy riding, Bawse. Ruh! [TMZ]

● Nicki Minaj’s Lil Wayne impression is dead on, even though she forgot that double styrofoam cup. [Karen Civil] ● As per a post card in a new batch of correspondences from the godfather of Gonzo, a hangover cure from Hunter S. Thompson: “12 amyl nitrites (one box), in conjunction with as many beers as necessary.” [Playboy] ● David Fincher says that Scarlett Johansson was just too sexy to play the Girl With The Dragon Tattoo. “Scarlett Johansson was great. It was a great audition, I’m telling you. But the thing with Scarlett is, you can’t wait for her to take her clothes off,” he says in this month’s Vogue, explaining that Rooney Mara’s mysterious allure was a better fit for the role. [Vogue] ● Coldplay’s Chris Martin thinks that Kanye West has changed the way we listen to music by blurring genres such that, “You don’t see so many goths, hippies, rockers and hip hoppers any more,” he said.[NME]

Lady Gaga Performs for Bill Clinton and His ‘Hot’ Wife

Bill and Hillary Clinton seem like the kind of couple who listen exclusively to jazz. I picture Bill smiling away as the sax hits a high note and Hillary just sort of dealing with it, her face a blank, expressionless void. But maybe that’s just me, and apparently I am wrong. Billary are big Gaga fans. The couple, along with Chelsea, were beaming last night when the Mother Monster took the stage for the former President’s belated b-day bash “A Decade of Difference: A Concert Celebrating 10 Years of the William J. Clinton Foundation” in LA, despite some sexy strutting and the F-bomb.

Gaga sang “Bad Romance,” or ‘Bill Romance,” saying “I love you and your hot wife,” while dancing in front of them. Dressed in a blond wig and a nude body suit made of what looked like fabric scraps, she had her version of a “Marilyn Moment.”

“I always wanted to have one, and I was hoping that it didn’t involve pills and a strand of pearls.”

It didn’t. But with a ton of dancing and her short film for Mugler playing on the big screens, “Happy Birthday Mr. President,” this was not.

Gaga also sang “You and I” warning before her performance she wasn’t going to take her clothes off, “don’t worry.” She also raised her middle finger and told the President, “If someone had told me so many years ago that I’d be doing that right in front of you I just would not believe. I would have given a good American f**k you.” Shocking? Not really, this is Lady Gaga.

The song was full of lines for the Clintons, like “Somewhere, something about this place, somewhere about [sic] American eyes when a Clinton makes us all feel safe. Somewhere something about a cool, Arkansas guy, yes, something about — Hilary, Billary, that’s your new celebrity name — to the Clintons, you and I.”

Kenny Chesney, Bono, Stevie Wonder, and Usher also performed, but of course no one is talking about it. Even these super stars can’t upstage Gaga.