Watch The U.S. Navy’s 100% Hilarious Anti-Bath Salts Video

The Atlantic Wire points us to a YouTube PSA from the U.S. Navy’s medical branch, entitled "BATH SALTS: It’s not a fad…It’s a NIGHTMARE. The video is intended to, er, discourage the habit of secretly ingesting bath salts in your Navy dorm room after Navy class. You’ll see what merits your attention.

Oddly enough, the goofy CGI and lurching dubstep soundtrack are the least bewildering choices in this little vignette. First off, it’s the actual worst take of someone pretending to snort drugs I’ve ever seen. For some reason, when our protagonist is vomiting off a bridge, they make it look like diarrhea.

And why are they making such a big deal about the theft of a French fry, which seems a minor infraction next to punching your girlfriend out at a bowling alley? Should we be worried that bath salts impair bowling skills in general? I’m thinking the only way to get a handle on these questions is to try the damn stuff for myself.

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Your Daily Guide To Trending Topics

Every day there are some topics that are trending. Since many of them don’t make sense, we provide easy contextualization. Also, this way, you won’t actually have to know anything about anything.

MLB Draft

Google users are feeling real sporty today as they’ve made as last night’s Major League Baseball’s First Year Players Draft the trendiest topic on the site. Indeed sports fans are curious to find out which high schoolers are about to become local millionaire celebrities before suffering debilitating injuries or being traded away a few years down the line. The New York Yankee, for example, drafted 18-year-old Oklahoman Ty Hensley, who has already planned to attend Ole Miss, but he said he’ll happily drop that plan to play ball. Good for him.

Bath Salts

Another hot topic on Google (and everywhere else, it seems) is bath salts. No, not the crappy gift you buy for mom when you forgot her birthday, the drug that turns you into a face-eating killer. People want to know what they are, why they do what they do and, really, where to get them. According to Forbes, the psychoactive stimulant "may find [a user] feeling extremely paranoid and panicky, but he’s unlikely to believe that a giant lizard wearing a tuxedo is about to eat his cat.” And if that doesn’t sound scary enough for you, an entire page of testimonials from bath salts users is enough to convince us that high on life is the way to go.

Kathryn Joosten Dies

Yahoo! users are a few days late on the death of Desperate Housewives actress Kathryn Joosten, who recenty died of lung cancer. Still, they’re searching up a storm about the passing of the the 72-year old actress. In a statement, Joosten’s family said, “The family of Kathryn Joosten, two-time Emmy winner, long-time Governor of The Academy of Television Arts and Sciences, lung cancer advocate, and so much more, regrets to announce that Kathryn succumbed to her 11-year battle with lung cancer today, June 2, 2012, surrounded by love and humor til the end. Thanks to everyone for their love and support. We are laughing through our tears.”

Cuomo Marijuana

Perhaps to overcome their Joosten-related sadness, Yahoo!ers are really curious about New York governor Andrew Cuomo’s new take on the state’s dealings with weed. Monday the governor announced a plan to cut the penalty for public possession of a small amount of pot, saying “There’s a blatant inconsistency. If you possess marijuana privately, it’s a violation. If you show it in public, it’s a crime.” While carrying will come with less of a penalty, it’ll still be a misdemeanor to actually smoke in public. "I believe the society does want to discourage the use of marijuana in public, on the street,” said Cuomo. “Smoking a joint, I think, is a different level of activity than just being in possession of it."  


Forget everyone else, this morning Twitter is feeling really self-obsessed. The hashtag #RandomFactAboutMe, in which users—wait for it—share a random fact about themselves is trending, making important information like the posts below available to the masses.

Random Fact 5

Random Fact 4

Random Fact 2