Average In Every Way But One: Pray For Ron Jeremy

Ron Jeremy, the blue-collar porn star, is in a coma at Cedars-Sinai Hospital in L.A. He needs our prayers. As much a comic as a sex symbol, Ron, from what I can gather, suffered a cardiac aneurysm. Average in almost every way except one, Ron wanted to get into movies but didn’t get far. He ended up exploiting the one way in which he was more than ordinary. Endowed beyond belief, he became a hero to those who found him easier to relate to than some handsome stud. He was the everyman porn star with a humorous edge.  

Ron is a friend. Actually, we share a best friend. We grew up near each other and went to the same college at the same time. I’m a month older, but we didn’t hang until the 90s. I brought him to the last Bartenders Ball I helped throw at The Hammerstein Ballroom. He just took over. The B-52s headlined, but it was Ron who brought down the house. Sometimes we’d walk down the city streets together with our mutual friend and some others in tow. Everybody knew him. Construction workers shouted "hey, you’re that guy," or just applauded. Somehow, his average looks let them relate to him. He was getting what they wanted and – save for just a couple of inches and an abandonment of their entire way of life – they could have. Thousands lived vicariously through him.

Once we were on some yacht in the Hudson and got perilously close to the Fourth of July fireworks. The coast guard boarded us. Their commander was in a foul mood. We were overcrowded with club people, including hot girls in various stages of dress/undress. The commander did a double take on Ron, and I jumped at the moment. "Sir, may I introduce you to Ron Jeremy? Ron shake the man’s hand.” Ron jumped up and they shook hands. I quipped, "Sir, can you imagine where Ron’s hand has been?” Everyone laughed and the attitude changed. We were told to move away from where we were, and no tickets were issued.

Everyone loves Ron. Now he needs everyone to pray for him. His inner circle is with him. They want me to say that "all content put out to the press was BS" and from "people who are not here.” He’s in Cedars-Sinai’s top-level Cardiac ICU. You cannot visit but you can pray.

More Sandy Relief Benefits This Week, All With a Boozy Twist

It’s great that after a few weeks, two holidays, and another on the way, people are still recognizing the disaster that Hurricane Sandy caused in various parts of the city. In the next nine days there are four fun events aimed at raising money for victims, displaced families, and devastated businesses. Here are some ways you can give more to the relief efforts, and drink your face off at the same time.

Tonight, hit up the Bowery Hotel for the 1st Annual New York Bartenders Ball featuring live music by Chances With Wolves and cocktails made by drink mavericks from Death & Co, Employees Only, PDT, Ward III, Dutch Kills, Dram, The Whiskey Brooklyn, and Weather Up Tribeca. Starting at 7pm, $100 gets you in for a five-hour open bar with food, and every penny goes to Occupy Sandy NYC Relief and the Soaring Spirits Loss Foundation

Also tonight, the $10 donation at the door of NYC Heart’s NYC event at The Tippler will be donated to victims of the hurricane. While you feel good about giving back, you can also feel good about shaking your tail to Diane Birch and Maverick & Ice, and then, participating in the live auction hosted by Brian McCarthy. The party runs from 6pm to 2am, and they will serve $10 cocktails and nibbles all night long. 

The Barman’s Fund is at it again, but this time they are inviting you to party down at Dutch Kills on Sunday, December 2 at 9pm until 2am. Join them for the 2nd Annual Barman’s Fund Holiday Shindig, where for $50 you can feast on food by #7 Sub and The Vanderbilt, sip cocktails made with Brooklyn Gin, Tito’s Vodka, Owney’s Rum, and others, all mad by barman Richard Boccato. All proceeds go to various NYC charities. 

Next Tuesday, December 4, The Brooklyn Brewery hosts a Hurricane Sandy relief fundraiser for Rockaway Surf Club, Red Hook Initiative, and Coney Recovers. Tickets run $40 and include a commemorative tasting glass, unlimited samples of beer from breweries including Blue Point, Kelso, Dogfish Head, Empire, Founders, and more. With all these incentives, giving has never felt so good.


Photo by Caspar Newbolt