Can you tell? Can you tell how much of a stretch it was not to use "Backstreet’s back, all right!" in the headline like everyone else and their mother has about any time the Backstreet Boys make any sort of return to relevancy or at least attempt it? It’s almost a shame, because by releasing that track, they’ve doomed themselves to the same exact headline every time they make a resurgence. At least it’s catchy? At least it’s maybe a good branding move? But, like, they had at least another dozen singles. Surely there’s a serviceable pun in there somewhere.
Anyway, right on the heels of the announcement of the latest #Rememberthe90s explosion tour, where NKOTBSB is extending this summer to include solo, indivdual sets from headliners New Kids on the Block, the Backstreet Boys and Boyz II Men, comes the news that the Boys, not to be outdone by One Direction, have agreed to a tell-all documentary. Morgan Spurlock is not directing, but Stephen Kijak, who has previously made docs about Scott Walker and The Rolling Stones, is, and Pulse Films, the company that made Katy Perry’s Part of Me 3D, will back the project.
"We always wanted to make a film and now is the ideal time. With Kevin back, the fact that we are masters of our own destiny, a new album in the works and our 20th anniversary — it all adds up to being the right time to share our story."
Since there isn’t a trailer for this bad boy yet, let us revisit one the group’s most underrated classics, "The Call."
Before Frank Ocean was Frank Ocean he was Lonnie Breaux, just another aspiring singer-songwriter trying to get by. Part of being unknown means anonymously paying your dues, which is why he sang a reference track for "PDA," a song that originally popped up on This Is Us, the Backstreet Boys’ comeback album. The song is explicit as all hell, but Ocean’s croon lends it a gentle candor that sounds a little more romantic than simply singing about fornicating at a movie theater. Ocean’s name doesn’t appear in the credits for the BSB’s album, so it’s unclear whether he had any part in writing or producing the track; regardless, that’s definitely his voice. Listen to it after the click, via Prefix.
If you’re not up on your BSB deep cuts, you can listen to their version over here. Ocean’s version sounds a lot more believable because, I don’t know, he’s not in the Backstreet Boys? He literally isn’t Nick Carter making analogies about being in a XXX movie, or Brian Littrell singing about boning in a Starbucks? I could go on.
● Jennifer Aniston was caught wearing a ring. It’s (probably not) happening. [Jezebel] ● Now that people have mostly lost interest his crazy show, Charlie Sheen is edging back towards the less lucrative but more stable sitcom business. He’s apparently signed a deal with Lionsgate to star in a new show as a character “very similar to the one he played on Two And a Half Men, however the show will be a lot racier.” [Radar] ● If all goes according to plan, Beyoncé will be joined by Leonardo DiCaprio in Clint Eastwood’s upcoming A Star Is Born remake. Two true stars, indeed. [DeadLine]
● After bowling a sad 97 at his manager’s birthday part, Jim Carrey blamed his lousy score on chicken grease. He sounds like bad bowler and a worse liar. [Page Six] ● Shia LaBeouf tried to play Feist’s “Brandy Alexander” before filming an emotional Transformers scene at Florida’s Kennedy Space Center, but director Michael Bay wasn’t having any of that sappy sweet stuff on his set. “I feel something when I hear it,” said Shia of his man faux-pas. “But Mike doesn’t want to listen to ‘Brandy Alexander’ under the rocket with 50 military dudes around.”[LAT] ● Nick Carter says he would love to do an episode of Glee. Sadly, most of Glee‘s audience is far too young to remember the Backstreet Boys. [HollyScoop]
The answer is simple. We shouldn’t. Really, even with the whole harmonica-and-guitar thing and with DMB’s recent surprise Billboard coup, there’s absolutely no reason why a band who inspired its legions of followers to don pukka shell necklaces and screen-printed Abercrombie tees with mid-level AC rock should be foisted, once again, onto unsuspecting listeners. Even if they hearken back to the long-lost glory days of Rolling Stone.
But more deplorable is what nefarious plans the Backstreet Boys are hatching. Never mind the absurdity of men in their 30s referring to themselves as “boys.” “But what about the Spice Girls?” you might ask. Well, they had the feminist insight of Betty Freidan to fall back on.
However, a bizarre by-product of the same pop movement was Aqua. Surprise! They’re alive! One of them even did a solo jaunt that involved BDSM once. But now, they’ve fully reformed and returned with a new single all about how life used to be in the 80s. The irony! The tune not only counts, “Back when Michael Jackson’s skin was black” as one of its lines, but a #1 ranking in Denmark among its virtues.