You Guys, The ’90s

As an idiot millennial twentysomething, I cannot legally blog for a week without mentioning that I love the hell out of some 1990s. Take for example these Archers of Loaf reissuestotally rad. I haven’t gotten around to the original versions of these albums, though, because I’m still working through the early stuff. Someday!

Speaking of ‘90s music, can you believe that the M83 song “Midnight City” samples Bill Clinton playing saxophone on the Arsenio Hall Show? MIND BLOWN.

I mainly love the ‘90s because I was ten years old back then. Not for the whole decade, but I’m pretty sure I was ten somewhere in there. With a mushroom cut. Also Bugle Boy sweatsuits. In a few different color patterns.

My parents didn’t let me watch a lot of TV, but I can tell you there were great shows on back then. Easily the best was Legends of the Hidden Temple, which was like if GUTS were about Indiana Jones instead of getting pelted with Nerf balls. (Oh yeah, Nerf!) My favorite episode of Hidden Temple was the one with the giant talking stone head. And, if you absolutely forced me to choose, my favorite episode of Are You Afraid of the Dark? has to be the one with the campfire.

Hey, come back: I remember some other stuff about the ‘90s. Like how the police were caught on video beating up O. J. Simpson. The Yankees were unbelievably good the whole time. Nothing was cooler than yo-yos.

And we all knew that global warming was real.

Your Daily Guide to Trending Topics

Every day there are some topics that are trending. Since many of them don’t make sense, we provide easy contextualization. Also, this way, you won’t actually have to know anything about anything.

The Master
Sure, we knew our readers would be interested in The Master, the first Paul Thomas Anderson film in five years. So when the first peek hit the web yesterday, we were all over it. Now it’s the second most searched term on Google. Most of the stories that Google searchers are finding are about the trailer, the lack of Philip Seymour Hoffman, whether or not it’s based on the life of L. Ron Hubbard. Take one wrong Google turn, however, and you can easily learn about some non movie-related things, including celebrity trainer Jillian Michaels’ crusade against The Master Cleanse and a golf tournament.

SpaceX Launch
It’s not just NASA going into space anymore. This morning, a privately owned cargo rocket was launched on a mission to deliver about 1,000 pounds of goods to the International Space Station. That’s really only about week’s space groceries, but the idea is to see if in fact people other than government-employed geniuses can make space travel work. If all goes well, Space Exploration Technologies Corp., or SpaceX, will win a $1.6 billion dollar contract to run 12 missions into space. No word on whether any of them will carry Lance Bass.

Bond Girl Marlohe
Berenice Marlohe, the new Bond girl who’s apparently the toast of the Cannes Film Festival, is the most trendingest item on Yahoo! this morning, which probably means that a bunch of misspelled versions of her name combined count toward that honor. Because, honestly. Marlohe plays Severine in the film, titled Skyfall, and showed off her sinister side at a screening of the film, where she told reporters that her co-star, Daniel Craig is "like a clown."

Arsenio Hall
Yes, that Arsenio Hall. The former late-night talk show host is at the top of the trends list thanks to his big win on Sunday night’s episode of The Celebrity Apprentice. Hall beat out American Idol alum Clay Aiken, showing us all that the term celebrity is certainly subjective. Anyway, if Arsenio really wants to do things right, he will use his resuscitated fame to put together a Coming To America reunion.

#IStandWithObama
Folks on Twitter are awfully hyped to talk about President Obama this morning. The hashtag #IStandWithObama is seriously trending, with users sharing their views on what the President is doing right. To be fair, other topics include #YouKnowTheSunIsShiningWhen and “Rise & Grind,” so we can’t put too much stock in the idea of great thought at 140 characters.

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