This Week’s NY Happenings: The DeKalb Classic, Meatball Slapdown, ‘Mad Men’ Premiere

TONIGHT: No-Fooling April Cocktails For DeKalb Ave.
Spring has sprung in Fort Greene, with glasses being raised tonight for inaugural cocktail competition The DeKalb Classic. Local faves like Madiba, Roman’s, and Chez Oskar will be throwing down for best bartender and cocktail crowns. Cornerstone’s entry (pictured) is barkeep Chris Rue’s St. Rue, a bright blend of Greenhook Gin, St. Germain, and lemon, with a vernal sprig of mint. You’ve got a month to track down the five cocktails and place your vote, with a portion of the proceeds going to charity.

The DeKalb Classic kicks off tonight, April 1st, at 5pm. Cornerstone (271 Adelphi St., Fort Greene) is among the five participating venues. Tickets are $50 and the event runs through the end of the month. To learn more about the restaurant, check out the listing at BlackBook Guides.

THURSDAY: Meatball Madness
Look for an all-out meatball royal battle as local superstars like Buttermilk Channel, M. Wells Dinette, and Prime Meats square off for sphere supremacy at the Meatball Slapdown. Ted Allen is among the celeb judges; host Brooklyn Brewery will keep the suds flowing.

The 4th Annual Meatball Slapdown at Brooklyn Brewery (79 N. 11th St., Williamsburg) starts Thursday, April 4th, at 7pm. Tickets are $50 for all you can eat and drink, with the proceeds going to charity. To learn more about the brewery, check out the listing at BlackBook Guides.

SUNDAY: Hamm And Whiskey
Where better to catch the premiere of Mad Men season six than a swank, Midtown lounge? Whiskey Park will do the honors, with themed cocktails, a trivia contest, and guests decked out in their swinging ’60s best.

The Mad Men viewing party at Whiskey Park (100 Central Park So., Midtown West) starts at 8pm, no reservations required. To learn more about the bar, check out the listing at BlackBook Guides.

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Burger Lovin’ New Yorkers Taunted by In-N-Out Prank

Who better to prank on April Fool’s than burger obsessed New Yorkers, with their willingness to pay $26 for the Black Label at the Minetta or wait in line for hours at Shake Shack? Yesterday, the city’s meatheads were taunted with signs and fliers saying that In-N-Out burger was coming to a storefront near Union Square this summer, but it is not to be. New Yorkers will have to find other ways to keep cholesterol levels up.

“Workers” dressed in In-N-Out hats and aprons handed out fliers saying the popular West Coast burger chain was coming to NYC in July and signage from Union Square to Madison Square Park declared the same, but it was all just a cruel, cruel April Fool’s joke by those pranksters at College Humor.

Air Weddings, Machu Picchu Fast Food, Rowdy Funerals

image● Virgin America sent out an incredible offer this morning: You can put a ring on it 30,000 feet. You get to take over their Clubhouses for the bachelor and bachelorette parties, then take off with up to 300 guests for your wedding in the sky, complete with pilot officiator and air hostess bridesmaids. Then you’ll enjoy a champagne reception (with real champagne flutes), followed by a three-course meal and speeches through the headphones. It’s all the excitement of a wedding, elopement, and honeymoon rolled into one. Check out all the details here.

● Despite local protests, the opening of a fast food restaurant at Machu Picchu has been given the green light by Peruvian officials this morning. In the interests of tackling obesity, the restaurant will be placed at the top of Machu Picchu, which means you’ll have to burn a few calories to get there. And permission has been granted with the condition that Inca burgers must be on the menu. Speculation is rife as to which fast food chain will get the lucrative contract. So far, neither McDonald’s nor Burger King have made any official comment on the subject. Locals have until midday today to appeal against the decision. Chime in here.

● Improv Everywhere, the pranksters responsible for the famous Grand Central Freeze and the more recent High Five on the 6 train, staged a rather unusual prank for their latest mission: The Best Funeral Ever. They had agents show up to “pack” the funeral, solemnly lining up to pay their respects and hand tissues to the grieving family. See photos and video here.

April Fool’s Nerd Joke Roundup

This morning, before brewing the standard oil barrel of coffee that it takes for me to function, I started up my Macbook and found myself staring bleakly at a computer that told me that my internet connection was deader than Lindsay Lohan’s career, post-Fornarina. Even though the modem itself indicated otherwise. The modem and I decided to communicate in Morse code for a while, with me blinking my eyes and the lights on the contraption flickering away in response. And then I did one of those things that the manual usually tells you to do when it seems the end of the world is near. And luckily, harmony was restored. Nevertheless, this is an example of a foul, humorless April Fool’s Joke conjured by a lazy witch who would’ve been better off taking lessons from Bette Midler in Hocus Pocus. Less effective pranks also include the Conficker worm (which is not a new aid in composting) and YouTube’s upside-down viewing. A roundup of above-average April Foolery after the break.

● Today The Guardian — that precious, erudite compendium of culture — trades in the failing newspaper format for a Twitterized new appearance, because experts say all pertinent news can be described in 140 characters or less.

● Meanwhile, TiVo introduces the DVR-SuperAdvance, which not only allows you to fast-forward through live TV broadcasts, but also lets you enjoy primetime programming before they’ve finished airing. So no longer do you have to sit through the 28 minutes of filler that makes up the bulk of a standard Gossip Girl episode. You can enjoy the tart-tongued previouslies, the exposition, and the conclusion and go one to find that cure for cancer that you’ve been meaning to discover before Nate Archibald’s dreamy countenance came along.

● Google, hot off the heels of last year’s Google Custom Time advent, has engineered Gmail Autopilot — which should be a boon especially to the few 9-to-5ers who’ve been negotiating four times the workload since that awful thing with the banks happened last fall. Gmail Autopilot helps overworked full-timers manage their inboxes by issuing personalized responses to everyone from Nigerian scam artists to Betsy Lou, who’s been passively aggressive since you got to go to The Maldives on vacay while she was stuck in Astoria with her scrubby boo. Especially in the case of nasty nutters like Betsy Lou, Gmail Autopilot also advises you to de-friend her on the intonation of her e-mails. Not just from Facebook, but life.

● More encompassing is new Google AI sweetheart CADIE whose primitive homepage gives 1993 a run for its money. CADIE’s top accomplishment: Google Brain Search.

● Such a workaholic! CADIE’s also offering 3D web-browsing.

● Not to be outdone, Opera (that’s the browser people use if they’re not using Firefox, Safari, Internet Explorer or, Jim Clark forbid, Netscape) has announced Face Gestures — a feature that lets you command your web browser with simple facial ticks.

● Also in news of faces comes Amazon’s Floating Amazon Cloud Environment, or FACE for short. Using the convenience of modern, unmanned airships, the e-tailer brings a large bunch of computers, or more technically, a “cloud,” to your general air space, should you require such a service.

● Intriguing, but most probably unreal, even as pranks: new features on Tumblr, like Racist Tirades and Add a Ransom Note.

● But probably the most April’s Fools-iest of them all is the latest set of tweets from Britney Spears, which include choice bits like, ” You guys continue to make me SOOO happy! I truly have the best fans on the planet! CAN’T WAIT for TEXAS tomorrow… – Brit” and “Had a great dinner with all of the dancers last night! -Britney” — which is hard to believe in light of this letter. Still, kudos to Brit-Brit for being on the ball, Aprilly Fooling all of us well before today.