Things That Only Happen In The Anthropologie Catalog

Last week I compared the J.Crew catalog to "Dr. Who’s space-time continuum where things happen between its pages that don’t actually happen in real life." Clearly I forgot about the Anthropologie catalog, which is also disconnected to the way us "working class" people do things in the real world.

Here are some examples of their shabby chic bamboozlement:

  • I totally wear high heels when riding a horse. Don’t you?
  • The pattern clashing. Paisley, plaid, and Fairisle do not belong in the same outfit.
  • Native American design-covered booties with six rainbow colored pom-poms are not a "thing."
  • No redheaded woman would wear orange lipstick.
  • No one would wear $298 boots and a $168 to gallivant across the Scottish countryside.
  • Seriously, you guys: the pattern clashing

Items in the Anthropologie catalog are actually less expensive than the J.Crew catalog, if you can believe it. But we all know that store is a black hole of bad shopping decisions where you find yourself spending $58 for a teal blue tee shirt because it’s just the prettiest shade of teal you’ve ever seen. Not that I am speaking from experience or anything.

Contact the author of this post at Follow me on Twitter and Tumblr.

Hot Hosiery That Makes Spending New Year’s Eve Outdoors Less Hectic

Now that you have a few NYE outfit options and party plans, it’s time to think about the little things, like what accessories to bring that will make you feel prepared for anything. You know that at some point in time you’re going to be outside, which means enduring the freakin’ freezing cold weather in your little dress and heels, secretly resenting all the boys walking around in their warm pants without a care in the world. The thought of getting really, really drunk to warm up crosses your mind, but remember what happened last year? You do not want to repeat that midnight kiss ever, ever again. So, what are your options? You could wear pants, but those Camilla Skovgaard heels you really want to wear look so much better with a dress. Hosiery is the next best thing, and although they’re not quite as supportive as pants, the thin layer of warmth really does make all the difference. See a few favorites after the jump.

From left: ASOS Lace Over-the-Knee and Sheer Tights, $17.24; House of Holland For Pretty Polly Super Suspender Tights, $20.69; Grey Antics Shirred Mesh Leggings, $78; Anna Sui Black Crochet Sweater Tights, $19.99; Anthropologie Daisy Chain Tights, $9.95.

Go ‘South Pacific’ For Spring

I love Christian Dior’s sailor-inspired theme for ready-to-wear SS11 (pictured). In my book, the nautical theme never goes out of style. With all the flashy ’70s-inspired styles floating around, it’s great to see the classic resort look popping up. I never get tired of white linen pants, navy/red combos, anchors, espadrilles, buckles, and bows. It’s not even January and I’m already getting excited to pull out my nautical wear. Are we done with this cold weather yet? Not even close, but it’s never too soon to start planning your fashion game plan for spring. After the jump, get the Dior look for less.

Anthropologie Gull Wing Dress, $168 image

Prada Sport Espadrille Platforms, $328 image

Willa M Nautical Necklace, $95 image

Aprons To Bake and Be Seen Baking In

There’s no denying the overwhelming gluttony of the holiday season—Thanksgiving to New Year’s Eve is a non-stop binge of all the decadent foods you try to avoid the rest of the year. Whether you’re perpetually in front of the hot oven or the constant recipient of items fresh from it, someone you know would be pleasantly surprised by a new apron. From sweet and frilly to practical and functional, we’ve found our favorite aprons for the chef in your life. After the jump, check out our picks, including this better-when-messy linen apron from Jackson, Johnston & Roe ($55).

Anthropologie striped bib apron, $32. image

Etsy 1940s red checked apron, $42. image

Vat19 cooking guide apron, $29.95. image

Anthropologie: The New Target

Anthropologie is pulling a page right out of Urban Outfitters’ or Target’s playbook. Specifically, the chain retailer has been embarking on a number of noteworthy designer collaborations. First there was news of a partnership with Ruffian. The fashion brand has crafted a decidedly French-feeling FW09 capsule collection for Anthropologie (think Catherine Deneuve circa the 1960s), including dresses, tights, tops, coats, and candles, all of which are currently online.

Now comes a follow-up that’s likely to engender just as much hype. British design duo Mark Eley and Wakako Kishimoto of Eley Kishimoto have teamed up with Anthropologie to create an ongoing collaboration in the form of a new line called EK Jam Factory. The premiere collection will debut in conjunction with Anthropologie’s expansion into the UK market, with a brand-new boutique in London’s Regent Street (which opens this Friday). Seeing as Vogue UK is the only outlet to report the news, sadly it looks as though this collection might retail solely across the pond.