Everyone Goes On The Record To Diss Anthony Weiner

Anthony Weiner made a mistake. Or several. But to err is human, am I right? I’m pretty much over Weinergate. What’s more annoying than that scandal is the ongoing talk about the man’s return to the spotlight. As with Jonah Lehrer, it’d be nice if Weiner languished in obscurity a bit longer—and his former colleagues agree.

In this tremendous New York Times article looking back at Weiner’s time as a member of the House of Representatives, everyone comes out of the woodwork to slam the guy. Let’s enjoy a few choice quotes out of context, shall we? 

“It was like he had a megaphone surgically attached to his mouth,” said former Representative Zachary T. Space, Democrat of Ohio.

This is a procedure he may actually want to consider? 

In a car, he was difficult. Mr. Weiner would take the front passenger seat, argue over directions and insist on making every yellow light, pointing to the car ahead and declaring: “If he makes it, you make it.”

Ah, I see: he thinks he lives in a do-or-die game of Mario Kart.

“It was like ‘The Devil Wears Prada,’ ” recalled Stacey E. Fitzpatrick, a lawyer in Seattle who worked for Mr. Weiner on the City Council.

The old standby.

Mr. Weiner’s bills … seldom went anywhere: “He just never tried,” one former senior aide said. “The point was to be able to say he introduced a bill.”

This reminds me of scrawling a bunch of stuff that looked like math on my algebra homework and then telling the teacher I "tried." Oh, Weiner. Why didn’t anyone like you? Offline, that is. 

Follow Miles on Twitter here

Dupré vs. Lee: A Working Girl’s Guide to Post-Sex Scandal Success

The Players: Ashley Dupré, high priced courtesan favored by former New York governor Eliot Spitzer. Ginger Lee, Exotic dancer and former porn star who exchanged tweets with former congressman Anthony Weiner. The Situation: Respective sex scandals have given them each a blast of media exposure they’d never have enjoyed otherwise. The Quest: Parlay 15 minutes of fame into an enduring career, or at least a sizable stack of cash. The Question: Of the two similar women caught up in similar situations, which will occupy the loftier spot in tabloid sexcapade history? We compare and contrast after the jump.

Well, duh, which one is hotter? Team Lee for the win on this one. Less boobs but more blonde. Dupré has certainly mastered the come-hither look, but her visage reminds me of Molly Shannon from Superstar. And Lee is more versatile. She can look naughty in gold lamé or demure in just your run-of-the-mill lingerie set. And, based on her press conference, she cleans up nicely and you could bring her home to meet Ma and Pa. If Lee opts to go down the Playboy path, we’ll have to compare centerfolds.

What are their post-scandal goals? Lee is just a modest, working girl. She says she only wants her fifteen-minutes to be over so that she can get back to work. But back to dancing in stripper heels at the Pink Pony? With Dupré’s notoriety, there was no going back to the $4,300-for-three-hours escort world (without moving to Nevada, at least), so she embarked on a singing career and writing career, as a dating columnist at the Post.

How has it worked out so far? Lee has referred to herself as “the most famous stripper in America right now,” but she’s selling herself short. She was the most famous stripper in the world, for approximately a day. But she’s still dancing and reportedly earning three times her normal flossing, grinding, and stage-humping rate. As for Dupré, she’s plugging away with modest success in the music business, and has become a journalist: she writes a sex column for the New York Post called Ask Ashley, which has the altruistic aim of discouraging girls from following in her footsteps.

Who wins? Dupré is your girl if you’re into a charitable, buxom brunette who once proudly boasted that she loved sex, and was good at it, too. But Lee will captivate the attention of any gentleman preferring a humble southern blonde who doesn’t even want the most famous stripper title.  Dupré got an interview with Diane Sawyer, and all Lee has gotten so far is a lousy press conference that she held herself. She doesn’t seem to know quite what to do with her recent fame, except that she has to do something. Dupré handled the publicity opportunistically gracefully, posing for Playboy two years after the scandal broke, and reportedly turned down a million bucks from Hustler. Lee didn’t even profit during the original pen-pal relationship, and hasn’t cashed in beyond getting a raise at her old job. You could learn a few things from Ashley Dupré, Ginger Lee!

Our advice: It seems Dupré has cast her lot and come out with not much but a DOA music career and some fading D-list fame. For Lee, reality TV seems the obvious choice, but even then, look for her to fade from any spotlight as the Weiner scandal evaporates post-resignation. In other words, dethroning prominent New York politicians pays, but only for a fleeting moment.

Anthony Weiner Offered ‘Entourage’ Cameo & a Job at ‘Hustler’

When one door closes, another opens, and when your high-profile political career falls apart, TV and porn people will offer you jobs. It’s just the way things work. Anthony Weiner, who announced his resignation from Congress yesterday following a series of revelations about his creepy online sexual behavior, has two possible new gigs in front of him: a role on Entourage or a job working for Larry Flynt at Hustler.

First, Entourage: the show’s executive producer Doug Ellin has reportedly contacted Weiner to play himself on the show. Weiner hasn’t gotten back to him. Solid attempt at a publicity stunt, though, Mr. Ellin, especially considering the fact that your show has so little buzz at this point I didn’t even know it was still on the air.

Then there’s Larry Flynt, who has offered Weiner a job at Hustler in an open letter published on the Huffington Post.

After having learned of your sudden and compelled resignation from your Congressional post, I would like to make you an offer of employment at Flynt Management Group, LLC in our Internet group. As a Congressman, you are known for your intensity and perseverance. I believe that this attitude, combined with your service in the House of Representatives’ Committee on Energy and Commerce, will make you a valuable asset to this corporation.

He continues: “This offer is not made in jest.” Flynt is offering Weiner a 20% pay raise over his congressman salary, which would be about $200,000 a year. Flynt would also pay for Weiner’s move to L.A., where the Hustler offices are. Doesn’t sound like a bad deal for the disgraced Weiner, who probably wants to skip town anyway. (That sentence was not written in jest.)

Unfortunately for Flynt and Ellin, Weiner hasn’t technically resigned yet, as Congress hasn’t received a formal letter of resignation. When he does re-enter the workforce, though, I’d wager he’ll pull an Eliott Spitzer and get a cable news show.

Morning Links: Khloe Kardashian’s Fox Nip Slip, Chuck Norris Officially ‘Worst Actor’

● “Thank God! I fucking love nipples,” tweeted Khloe Kardashian after falling victim to a minor wardrobe malfunction on Fox & Friends. Embracing a little nip on stodgy broadcast news? Bravo! [NYDN] ● Judd Apatow’s brood of regulars seems to be growing. Old stand-bys Paul Rudd and Leslie Mann are already slated for the upcoming Knocked Up spin-off, while Bridesmaids Chris O’Dowd and funny ladies Lena Dunham and Charlene Yi are in negotiations to join the cast. [Variety] ● Dakota Fanning graduated high school yesterday, having rounded out her teenage experience with two homecoming queen crowns and a varsity letter for cheerleading. [People]

● Emma Watson says she dropped out of Brown not because of rumored bullying, but because of her fame: “”I wanted to pretend I wasn’t as famous as I was,” she said. “I was trying to seek out normality, but I kind of have to accept who I am, the position I’m in, and what happened.” [People] ● Matt Damon has postponed his previously planned fundraiser for embattled Congressman Anthony Weiner, but hasn’t yet given up hope: “Look, I really support his politics,” he told NYM. “Anybody who fights for the working class and the middle class, I’ll help in any way I can.” [NYM] ● Slate did some math using Rotten Tomatoes scores and found that Chuck Norris is the worst actor ever, something we all already knew and loved about him. Perhaps more tragically, Jennifer Love Hewitt was found to be the worst actress, having the “rare distinction of never having made a single ‘fresh’ (above 60 percent on Rotten Tomatoes) film.” [Slate]

Anthony Weiner Instructed His Pornstar Cyber Girlfriend to Lie

For a second there, the still-developing Anthony Weiner sex scandal had a refreshing newness about it. The social networking stuff really made it feel like a sex scandal for the people, by the people. But then, somewhere along the way, a pornstar named Ginger Lee was thrown into the petri dish, and now what could have been a truly revolutionary affair—so wonderfully 2.0—has been made so been-there-done-that by the predictability of a congressman from Brooklyn wanting to screw someone in the adult film industry. TMZ has some information on Ms. Lee’s relationship with Mr. Weiner that might make her a key figure in this whole mess. Boring!

Apparently, shortly after the scandal broke in late May, Weiner offered Lee the full resources of his PR team, who would coach her how to lie her way out of the situation, like he tried to do. According to an alleged June 1st e-mail, Weiner wrote:

“The key is to have a short, thought out statement that tackles the top line questions and then refer people back to it. Have a couple of iterations of: ‘This is silly. Like so many others, I follow Rep. Weiner on Twitter. I don’t know him and have never met him. He briefly followed me and sent me a dm saying thank you for the follow. That’s it.'”

“Dm,” for all the Luddites, is a “direct message,” otherwise known as a private message. But Weiner truly shows his flair for manipulating the media with some further advice for Lee, wherein he instructs the Texan to “insert some y’alls in there.”

Why might this be important, you ask? Well, if Weiner’s PR cronies are part of his congressional team, that means he did in fact violate house ethics rules, which would be grounds for getting booted out of congress. Apparently, Weiner lied to his entire staff about his online shenanigans, which means he could have been referring to a private PR company he was planning to hire. But then, on June 2nd, he allegedly e-mailed Lee, saying, “Do you need to talk to a professional PR type person to give u advice? I can have someone on my team call.”

In conclusion, let the countdown to Anthony Weiner’s resignation begin!