The College Poster Sale Is The Apex Of Western Culture

Not long ago I was whining about the slight irritations of living smack-dab in the middle of eight or nine college campuses. But it occurs to me now that I had forgotten one element of the back-to-school atmosphere that is wholly above cynicism and likely the very pinnacle of aesthetic achievement: the sidewalk poster sale.

Surely you remember these. You arrive at your dorm and realize the decorations you brought from home are both too meager and too juvenile to make the room come alive—you need something much, much cooler. Plus, maybe you and the roommate would like some consensus on what the walls look like. Neutral territory, if you will. Off you go to the poster guy!

Which poster is right for you? It’s not an easy question. There is much soul-searching before you select the right mass-produced image to express your individuality. But here are some suggestions:

  • Stills from Scarface (1983)
  • Dalí paintings that look like Pink Floyd album covers
  • Pink Floyd album covers
  • Anything with Audrey Hepburn, looking adorable
  • Vintage Parisian advertisements featuring black cats
  • John Belushi in the “COLLEGE” shirt from Animal House
  • Hokusai’s The Great Wave at Kanagawa
  • A blacklight-activated Jimi Hendrix
  • “Keep Calm and _______.”
  • Something with a humorous adage about drinking beer on it
  • Something confirming in no uncertain terms that you do, in fact, smoke weed

Remember, your choices are virtually unlimited and will determine the snap judgments fellow students make about you when entering your living space. Good luck out there, and definitely don’t just get a poster with a half-naked babe on it: that’s what your laptop is for.

Follow Miles Klee on Twitter.

Morning Links: Bobbi Kristina Trusts Oprah, Lady Gaga Hits 20 Million Twitter Followers

● Bobbi Kristina has entrusted Oprah with her first interview since Whitney’s death becasue, she says, Oprah "was loyal to my mom, and never did my mother wrong, or made her look bad. She always looked out for my mom." Their talk will air Sunday. [TMZ]

● Tina Fey was supposed to help Lindsay Lohan deliver her opening monologue on Saturday Night Live but pulled out at the last second because her kids were sick — or because she’s tired of defending her Mean Girls co-star, depending on who you ask. [NYDN]

● The Barenaked Ladies will provide the score for Delta Chi Fraternity in the upcoming adaptation, Animal House: The Musical. [ArtsBeat]

● Lady Gaga became the first person to hit 20 million twitter followers. Followers number 19,999,998 or 19,999,999 or even 20 million — where have you been? [NME]

● Details about The Canyon, the microbudget, L.A. based noir film Brett Easton Ellis supposedly wrote for porn star James Deen, are begining to emerge. [Playlist]

● Odd Future debuted the second track off their collective album, The OF Tape Vol. 2, and "Rella" followup, "NY (Ned Flander)" last night. The predictably weirdo video is directed by none other than Tyler himself under his Wolf Haley alias. [RapRadar]

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