Not long ago I was whining about the slight irritations of living smack-dab in the middle of eight or nine college campuses. But it occurs to me now that I had forgotten one element of the back-to-school atmosphere that is wholly above cynicism and likely the very pinnacle of aesthetic achievement: the sidewalk poster sale.
Surely you remember these. You arrive at your dorm and realize the decorations you brought from home are both too meager and too juvenile to make the room come alive—you need something much, much cooler. Plus, maybe you and the roommate would like some consensus on what the walls look like. Neutral territory, if you will. Off you go to the poster guy!
Which poster is right for you? It’s not an easy question. There is much soul-searching before you select the right mass-produced image to express your individuality. But here are some suggestions:
- Stills from Scarface (1983)
- Dalí paintings that look like Pink Floyd album covers
- Pink Floyd album covers
- Anything with Audrey Hepburn, looking adorable
- Vintage Parisian advertisements featuring black cats
- John Belushi in the “COLLEGE” shirt from Animal House
- Hokusai’s The Great Wave at Kanagawa
- A blacklight-activated Jimi Hendrix
- “Keep Calm and _______.”
- Something with a humorous adage about drinking beer on it
- Something confirming in no uncertain terms that you do, in fact, smoke weed
Remember, your choices are virtually unlimited and will determine the snap judgments fellow students make about you when entering your living space. Good luck out there, and definitely don’t just get a poster with a half-naked babe on it: that’s what your laptop is for.
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