Seriously, You Guys, Please Save ‘Happy Endings’

So you’ve probably been reading a lot about how Happy Endings is amazing and hilarious and the funniest show on TV, but due to its low ratings, it has been hit with the unfortunate schedule shuffling (including a move to the Friday night death-spot), episode-burning-off and possible cancellation. ABC has responded to fan pleas with a weird ad campaign, imploring fans to put the work in and save the show. Judging by the current schedule change, it looks like their minds are made up, but to dangle another season in front of fans like a carrot on a string, to sound almost as if the show is being held hostage and only you can save it—and even if views are really the only thing that can keep the show from going off the air, y’all, that’s just mean. Maybe, ABC, if you didn’t keep shuffling it around, casual fans of the show would, like, actually know when it’s on and be able to watch it and keep it from getting canceled.

And Happy Endings getting canceled, as it seems more and more likely, would still really be a bummer, you guys. But maybe we should put the extra effort in to watch it, and to convince our friends and contemporaries and people on the subway to as well. Use whatever selling point works best: the plotlines about dueling bar mitzvah emcees, the "it’s like Friends, but…," the delightful Adam Pally and Casey Wilson, the backstory that they all met as cast members on The Real World, which is sort of weird and amazing in and out of universe. Whatever cards work best in your deck, you know?

Is this what you want, America? Do you really want probably the best sitcom on television right now to get the axe while Two and a Half Men continues to drag its bloated swamp-creature corpse across your living room? Of course not! At least, we hope not. So here’s what we’re going to do: I’m going to end this post with an episode of Happy Endings. You are (hopefully—I can’t tell you how to live your life) going to watch it. You will hopefully find it hilarious, and you will continue to watch this show and end this sitcom hostage crisis. Because this show deserves at least one more season of bringing us joy, lest the cast somehow launch a Kickstarter campaign to try to resurrect it as a movie or something a few years later. 

Before Basking in the Joy of the ‘Happy Endings’ Premiere, Watch The Cast Perform at UCB

Happy Endings‘ third season premieres tonight, but if that’s just too long of a wait for you, the cast’s live special filmed at UCB over the weekend is now on YouTube. Adam Pally and Casey Wilson host the hour-long sketch show, and it goes pretty much as you’d imagine it, complete with Wilson’s goofy, vaguely Carlton Banks-esque dancing. 

A number of special guests appear, including fellow castmates Eliza Coupe and Damon Wayans Jr. (who gets asked some very uncomfortable questions), Fred Savage (!) and Kat Dennings. Brian Gallivan, one of the show’s writers who you may know as the star of Second City’s "Sassy Gay Friend," discusses writing the show ("I relate to Max because I have about one boyfriend a season," he jokes.) and sings an amusing and terrifying song about running into one of his former students at the club, with some cardboard cutouts cheering him on in the background. But perhaps the most memorable moment of the show is Eliza Coupe’s rendition of Claire Danes as Temple Grandin as Carrie Mathison. Watch.

The Black List: Adam Pally Can’t Stand Sarah McLachlan or Cats

As the smart-aleck couch potato Max on ABC’s hit relationship sitcom Happy Endings, Adam Pally says all the wrong things at all the right times. Here, the UCB veteran goes unscripted about what ticks him off, and poor Sarah McLachlan suffers the fatal blow.

1. Let’s knock out four things I hate right now: everyone in The Black Eyed Peas. Well, three things. I feel bad for that mute ninja guy because you know the other three Peas are making fun of him behind his back, and that’s a little “pot calling the kettle,” right?

2. I hate adult cats. I’m sorry, I know they need a home, and Sarah McLachlan’s head just exploded, but grown-ass sassy cats scare me.

3. I hate people who bitch about the iPhone when they don’t have one. It’s like a virgin telling you sex is overrated.

4. I hate clerks at guitar stores. I know just by walking in here you can shred some tasty licks, but let’s face it: You’re not scoring that much poon if you work at Guitar Center, so just pass me that middle-of-the-road acoustic and let me kill some time between auditions.

5. I hate the sound of my son crying. Kidding. My wife deals with that noise.

6. I hate all 9/11 movies except One for the Money.

7. I hate capri pants on either gender. Wear longer pants or pull your shoes up.

8. I hate boyfriend jeans. I don’t care what kind of “fat day” you think you’re having. Trust me, the boyfriend jeans are making it worse.

9. I hate when my dog licks herself to the point that an open sore forms. I mean, come on dog, you’re so dumb.

10. I hate adults who love Disney World. This is the clearest sign of pedophilia or serial killerphilia.

11. I hate two-door luxury coupes. Way to show your friends how rich you are and get out of giving them a ride home, dick.

12. I hate talking to people in the lobby of yoga class. It’s taking a lot for me to be here; I don’t need to hear about that yoga summit on the top of Mt. Healthylife. Now leave me alone so I can pretend to exercise.