Rick Ross in Shooting-Related Rolls Royce Crash

Around 5 a.m. this morning, when everyone out and about is getting an early start or finally winding down a night of absurd revelry, a Rolls Royce that seems to have been carrying Rick Ross crashed into a building in Fort Lauderdale, Florida. Police reported shots in the vicinity at that time; apparently another vehicle “opened fire.”

Ross, a veteran rapper who last year scored a hit with his much-delayed fifth studio album, God Forgives, I Don’t, may be seeking forgiveness himself, as the gunman or gunmen who orchestrated this botched drive-by are still at large. He and the Rolls’ other passenger had asked for their personal information to be withheld from the public, but witnesses were not so cooperative.

The man has no shortage of industry beefs and odd legal troubles, from a running feud with 50 Cent to the discovery in 2009 of a dead body on his property. As recently as this past December, Ross was said to “shrug off” a video of death threats from a Chicago crew called the “Gangster Disciples”—even as he canceled tour dates. Looks like he’ll be laying low awhile longer. 

Follow Miles Klee on Twitter

Morrissey Claims He’ll Retire, But So Have These Stars

Morrissey has been a malcontent for as long as anyone can remember. The former Smiths singer is famously cantankerous (and litigious), but despite all his grousing, we’d never guess that he’d actually give up performing.

According to an interview that Moz gave to something called LAMC Productions, though, he plans to call it quits come 2014. The 53-year-old singer told the site he was ready to kick back after what he called “aging a lot recently.”

“I am slightly shocked to have gone as far as I have,” he said. “This is my 30th year, and I’ve aged a lot recently, which is bit distressing for me, as it must be for everyone. The body changes shape and there’s nothing you can do about it.”

As sad as we’d be to see Morrissey go, we have to say we don’t believe it will happen. And not just because the thought itself is devastating. Plenty of artists have claimed they were retiring, only to show up time and time again on stage. Here are four of our favorites.

In 2008, at the Bonnaroo music festival, “Paper Planes” performer M.I.A. announced to her crowd that “This is my last show, and I’m glad I’m spending it with all my hippies.” In a later interview, she said "It was my last ever show. And it still is. I stopped touring after that and I didn’t want to make music again. I was quite happy to just leave it all behind. I was happy with what I had achieved." Not too long after that, however, she appeared at a party for the fashion label Diesel and then told Entertainment Weekly, “Now,with the success of ‘Paper Planes,’ there’s pull for me to make another record. Even my mum believes in me more.” Of course it didn’t take. In addition to never truly disappearing from the public eye, in 2010 she released the Vicki Leekx mixtape and a remixes EP and has a new album coming out this summer. 

After widely claiming that 2003’s The Black Album would be his last, Hova indulged himself in what he has called the “worst retirement in history.” He was barely gone before releasing 2006’s Kingdom Come. I believed it for two years,” he said of his short-lived golden years. "Something, when you love it, is always tugging at you and itching, and I was putting it off and putting it off. I started fumbling around to see if it felt good.” 

Cher’s Living Proof: The Farewell Tour kicked off in June 2002 and while originally slated to last for three months, the series of shows, meant to be the diva’s last, ended up going on for three years. And then did she retire? Of course not. In 2008, she was back on stage in Las Vegas at Caesar’s Palace, where the then 62-year-old star had another three-year residency.

50 Cent
In 2007, rapper 50 Cent did his best to start a feud with then fledgling performer Kanye West, saying, "If Kanye West sells more records than 50 Cent on September 11, I’ll no longer write music. I’ll write music and work with my other artists, but I won’t put out any more solo albums." And what happened when West’s Graduation outsold Fiddy’s Curtis? "I don’t think I’ll retire,” he later said. “I think you should look forward to me going behind the scenes more, I still have passion for music.” In 2009, he released Before I Self Destruct, and the rapper supposedly has another record dropping this year.

Morning Links: Burger King Apologizes To Mary J. Blige, Sea Change At ‘SNL’

● Mary J. Blige bemoaned yesterday that her pulled "crispy chicken, fresh lettuce" Burger King commercial was not the "fun and creative campaign" she had signed up for. Burger King meanwhile apologized to Blige and her fans for airing the ad "prematurely," adding that they hope to have the final spot on air soon. [Rap-Up]

● The final autopsy report from the LA County’s Coroner’s Office adds grim details to Whitney Houston’s final moments, but upholds earlier findings that her cause of death was accidental drowning caused by heart disease and cocaine use. [TMZ]

● Rumor has it that Saturday Night Live‘s Kristen Wiig, Andy Samberg, and Jason Sudeikis are jumping ship at the end of this season. [Us]

● It seems that Jake Gyllenhaal has become something of a teacher’s pet in his spin classes, often winning himself a seat on stage next to the teacher where he raps along to Jay-Z without breaking an additional sweat. [PageSix]

● Sylvester Stallone, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Jim Caviezel, and, as of yesterday, Amy Ryan, 50 Cent, Snatch‘s Vinnie Jones, and Law and Order‘s Vincent D’Onofrio have all been cast in director Mikael Hafstrom’s The Tomb, a movie about — well, with that motley cast, does it even matter? [Variety]

Afternoon Links: Big Debut Likely For ‘Boyfriend,’ Rihanna Rides The Subway

● Justin Bieber’s "Boyfriend" is on pace to sell 400,000 downloads this week, a one week haul that would easily rank as Justin’s best. Growing up ain’t so bad! [Billboard]

● In 2000, a high school student asked Fiona Apple to write a letter for his school’s Gay Straight Alliance, and oh did she. [BuzzFeed]

● MediaTakeOut seems to believe that Lil B’s upcoming NYU lecture will be something of a coming out party. [MTO]

● "Whew this job is no joke," tweeted new mom Hilary Duff, hopefully not between choked back tears. [Us]

● Rihanna skipped pants but remembered her Oyster card for her Tube trip to Drake’s London tour stop. "I hate waking up early and I am always late so the Tube is 10 minute," she explains. "Me and my fans all went to the concert, that was the coolest part definitely." [MTV]

● Rumor has it that Busy Philips introduced Michelle Williams and Jason Segel, and that the two have been totally "smitten" ever since. Aww!  [PageSix]

● Better late than never, 50 Cent announced today that he’ll be joining rank with a Gangsta Grillz hosted mixtape. “Arguably the two most important brands in the mixtape game in the last 10 years. 50 Cent & Gangsta Grillz,” he says. [RapRadar]

Morning Links: Kanye West’s Problem With Press, Lindsay Lohan Goes Red

● Kanye West barred press from previewing his Paris Fashion Week collection because, as he explains, "If they don’t understand it, they don’t understand it." "I got treated unfairly by the press last time. Why would I want to do this?" he said. [NYDN]

● The iconic Chicago house made famous in Home Alone has sold for $1.585 million. A real steal! [ChicagoTribune]

● Word has it that Britney Spears has been offered $10 million to sit as a judge on The X-Factor, a role that would require her to regularly appear in public and speak unscripted in a way she has not done in years. [Deadline]

● Lindsay Lohan has returned to her more natural red-headed state. [Us]

● 50 Cent will for the first time perform his debut Get Rich or Die Trying in its entirety at South by Southwest this year. [BallerStatus]

● Wes Anderson’s Moonrise Kingdom will set the pace at Cannes this year as the festival opener. [Variety]

● Oops! As it turns out, that salacious Scout Willis tweeter account was just a school project. Mom and Dad, you can stop worrying now. [People]

Morning Links: Demi Moore’s Whip-It Problem, ‘The Office’s Dwight Shrute Gets a Spinoff

● Demi Moore’s "seizure like symptoms" are thought to be kick back from all those whip-its — "not a common drug among people of Demi’s age and social status," as per TMZ — she was apparently doing. [TMZ]

● Rumor has it that Gwen Stefani is growing ever the more weary of Gavin Rossedale’s dark past and that, like Vanessa and Johnny and Heidi and Seal before them, divorce is “inevitable.” Memories, they can be inviting, but some are are altogether mighty frightening… [HollywoodLife]

● Lindsay Lohan is being sued for allegedly hitting a woman in a rented Masarati. And just as things were starting to look up. [E!]

● Hearts, but also lungs and kidneys: Justin Bieber helped quadruple organ donor registrations in his hometown of Ontario with but a single tweet. [MTV]

● Doubling up after last weekend’s cash out, 50 Cent has put $1 million down on Eli and the Giants taking the Superbowl. And if they lose, he’s promised to twitpic a dick pic. Birdman, ya hear that? [RapRadar]

● NBC is reportedly planning an The Office spinoff starring Rainn Wilson and set at the much mythologized Shrute family beat farm and R&B. [Deadline]

Afternoon Links: Katy Perry Unfollowed Russell Brand on Twitter, PETA Wants O.J. Simpson’s Old House

● Katy Perry has unfollowed Russell Brand on Wwitter, but Russell Brand is, for now, still following Katy Perry. We can’t all be like Demi. [Us]

● Al Green thinks President Obama "nailed it" last night. [TMZ]

● PETA has asked J.P. Morgan to donate the use of O.J. Simpson’s Florida home for their "Meat is Murder" museum, where they hope to teach visitors that "non-violence begins on our plates." [Forbes]

● "I am pretty much obsessed with coffee," writes David Lynch on the Huffington Post today — his birthday! — of his seven-cup-a-day habit. "Coffee has always seemed to facilitate thinking and catching ideas. Not only that, but the flavor of coffee is beyond the beyond good." [Huff Post]

● Australian supermodel Jessica Gomes, the girl behind those famous "Maybach Music" drops, says she was paid for the gig in neither money nor Rick Ross visitation rights. "It’s not about the money for me," she says, "I was lucky enough at that time to do that … it’s very flattering that I got acknowledged by the hip-hop world." [XXL]

● If this make-up artist’s recreations are to be believed, Beavis and Butt-Head would be horrifying in real life. [BuzzFeed]

● According to Detroit rapper Danny Brown, 50 Cent doesn’t know "what the fuck Pitchfork" is. [Complex]

● Lil Wayne got hurt on his skateboard last night. Expect a few days of radio silence. [@LilTunechi/Twitter]

Morning Links: Katy Perry Wins Big At People’s Choice, Baby Blue Ivy Makes Billboard History

No-show Katy Perry and Harry Potter (and it’s mostly absent stars), won big at last night’s People’s Choice Awards, raking up five and four wins respectively. [AP]

● 50 Cent made something (not so nice) for Babyoncé. [Us]

● Rumor has it that Kelly Clarkson will be singing the National Anthem before this year’s Super Bowl. [AP]

● Blue Ivy Carter is the youngest to ever be credited on Billboard, with "Glory" — officially featuring "B.I.C." — debuting at #74 on the R&B/Hip-Hop chart. [Billboard]

● Britain’s Daily Mail photo editor says he sees up to 400 pictures of Pipa Middleton a day, even though most days he doesn’t even know what to do with just one. [CBS]

● Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie stopped by the White House while in town for a screening of Angelina’s movie about Bosnian war crimes. [Gawker]

● Rise Against, No Doubt and Nicole Scherzinger’s Twitter accounts were all hacked by Ron Paul supporters perhaps eager to win a more diverse audience for their chosen one. Kelly Clarkson’s Twitter endorsement of Paul, on the other hand, was genuine. [Billboard]

Morning Links: 50 Cent Working On Weight-Loss Book, Lady Gaga’s Woody Allen Dreams

Skinny 50 Cent is back, and this time he wants to help you get skinny, too. The notoriously health conscious rapper is working on a weight-loss book called Formula 50: A 6-Week Total Body Transformation Plan, wherein he’ll lay out the baics for muscle building, nutrition, exercise and, of course, mental strength. [Page Six]

● In hopes of regaining the edge lost when Brett Ratner and Eddie Murphy left, the Academy has decided to let Pharrell Williams help Oscar-winning composer  Hans Zimmer handle music duties for this year’s show. [THR]

● Sinéad O’Conner rang in her 45th birthday with an "I Do!" in Las Vegas, lawfully wedding her boyfriend Barry Herridge. [People]

● Brad Pitt’s Eraserhead is our favorite, but each and every one of these portriats of cinematic villiany, as preformed by this year’s best, will haunt you. [NYT]

● Not sure where to begin your holiday shopping? Perhaps there is something for someone you love in Elizabeth Taylor’s closet. Twenty surprisingly affordable picks from Christie’s Liz Taylor auction. [ArtInfo]

● Yesterday Lady Gaga was shaken by dreams of dying like Princess Di, and today she’s dreaming of being in a Woody Allen movie. [NME]