New York: 5 Places to Stress-Eat After Seeing ‘Precious’

Look. I know Mo’Nique and I didn’t see eye-to-eye in the past, but that doesn’t mean I think less of her as an actress. In fact, I’m still pulling for her to pick up an Oscar win, possibly as a tasteful eff you to less-deserving victors of yore. Also as a bird-flip to the Academy who probably assume that with her unique body of work, she’d never get within spitting distance to even a Best Supporting Actress nomination. In fact, she and I celebrate our birthdays within a day of each other, so I could think of no one more fitting to uncork a bottle of champagne with. Another reason to pop the champy? Today, Precious opens everywhere (well, New York and Los Angeles anyway). Many of you are probably coordinating your happy hours accordingly. But somewhere in your post-movie regiment this evening, you may need to work in a restaurant conducive to eating your emotions, as the film is set to leave salt deposits on your face. Five suggestions after the jump.

El Centro – One excellent way to sublimate sorrow is to indulge in sour cream and cheese. I mean, you have your option of chicken, beef, or beans; you also have a choice between side salad and paella. But really, you should skip to the saturated fats and empty calories. ● Momofuku Bakery Milk Bar – Dessert for dinner is acceptable if your pick-me-up needs to be quick. Two words: Pork buns. ● Sylvia’s – Carboload at this iconic Harlem staple on mac & cheese, fried chicken, and mashed potatoes without judgment. ● Foodswings – If you can’t bear to maul through dead flesh no matter how hysterical you are, this South Williamsburg cafe offers a platter of vegan-friendly junk food. ● Shake Shack – And if you have no qualms about tearing through dead flesh, queue up for a burger. Skip the single, go with the double.

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