Name & Origin of Chelsea Mystery Chef Revealed

Yesterday we repeated a rumor that a mysterious, mostly unknown superchef would soon make his public debut at a pop-up restaurant in New York. Deliberate prodding has revealed a few more details, such as the proper spelling of his name (it’s not “Nicholas Enslerfymarcorn”). We were also sent a cellphone shot of an illustration of the chef himself, which as you can see is … not that useful. Yet.

Anyways, we can confirm that the chef’s name is actually written Nikoalan Nselurfueymardcora. Good luck pronouncing that one. We had no luck untangling the exact mix of his supposed Lebanese-Greek-Cape Verdean ancestry but we were told he was raised in a Maltese orphanage. Not sure that explains much. One salient detail is that he is infamous for a sense of taste legendary even among other chefs, as well as a keen ear — both senses developed to compensate for extremely poor eyesight. His vision is said to be so bad that he often doesn’t even bother wearing his glasses, as they are little help. We expect to get some more drops of info tomorrow related to the menu of his two-plus-day popup.

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