Wikipedia is the greatest thing that ever happened to the uninformed masses. Thanks to Wikipedia, I often come off as well-read and versed on a number of pressing issues at first impression. It’s just too bad that a whole bunch of the entries are long, rambling and bo-ring (see: British art critic, John Ruskin or the Wikipedia entry on Wikipedia, ewwww). Luckily, there’s a condensed version for movers and shakers of the world who don’t have the time or patience for 1,000+ words on solar power. Ten Word Wiki is the “Encyclopedia for the ADD generation” and the 10 word entry it cites for itself is wayyyy better that Wikipedia’s: “Knowledge but bite sized, often surreal with lots of jokes”. Here is what we learned of the Wiki at first browse.
It reveals communal qualms. Airport Security: Has latex glove and lube. Not afraid to use them.
It’s aware of familial hierarchies. Alec Baldwin: Stephen Baldwin’s less famous older brother. Leader of the Baldwins.
It hates football too. American Football: Rugby with Padding And Helmets, Fast Game That Lasts Hours
It thinks Chris Martin is a twat. Coldplay: Gwyneth Paltrow’s husband and his three mates. Dreary indie bollocks.
It can be used as a travel guide. Limerick: Irish city where people recite whimsical poetry while stabbing you.
It sides with Tiger. Girlfriend: Many benefits of a wife with few of the drawbacks.
It’s for introverts. Masturbation: If you want a job done properly, do it yourself.
It’s worried about your health. Cigarettes: Cancer delivery system. Tobacco in a paper tube with filter.
It’s for Mormons. Las Vegas: American city of neon lights, Gambling, Whores and bad singers
It knows the real story. Facebook: Website where children give out personal details, a paedophile’s dream.
It’s reflective of culturally accepted truths. George W Bush: overpowered idiot, defective clone of defective hereditary, still made millions.
It’s for realists. Imagination: Pretty pictures made by people who fail in real life.
It’s not for pet lovers. Kittens: Baby cats. Cute, small, weak. Plot to take over world.
It’s clever! Ninja: Behind you! Don’t you see them? Too late. You’re dead.
It knows what that creepy neighbor of yours is up to. Voodoo: Harmless hobby for sociopaths who can’t stop playing with dolls.
It will not use Billy Shatner as a spokesperson. William Shatner: Corsetted scifi icon, then TJ Hooker, and now sleazy lawyer
It’s for nerds! xenologophobia: Fear of loan words. Itself a loan word from Greek
It knows what’s up. For the nerds! Wii:Games console with waggle controls, lots of shovelware. And Mariokart
Its makers are British: Yoghurt: Very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very old milk.