What Was Kirsten Dunst Thinking During R.E.M.’s ‘We All Go Back To Where We Belong’?

R.E.M. has recently called it quits, and what better way to bow out of the music industry than to release a greatest hits collection featuring a tepid new song? The video for the song isn’t much more exciting, unless you find yourself quite taken with the notion of Kirsten Dunst staring at a camera for three minutes. She doesn’t do much on screen, but I bet there’s a ton going on inside her head. Here’s what I think her inner monologue might have been.

0:02. All right, here goes. Gotta do this new reel.

0:06. Where is Sofia? I thought Sofia was directing this?

0:10 A music video? Is it for Phoenix? Seriously, where’s Sofia?

0:14 God, I wish I had chapstick.

0:24 Ah, shit, I forgot. It’s that R.E.M. thing. OK, Kiki, think.

0:29 God I am soooo embarrassed.

0:41: OK, be cool. This’ll be over soon.

0:45 Alright FINE, I’ll look at it, OK?

0:52: Which one’s R.E.M. again? They gay ones, right?

1:07: I should give Schwartzman a call when I get home tonight.

1:16: 7, 14, 21, 28, 45… Shit. 35, 42, 49…

1:43: I bet Maggie Gyllenhaal won’t even get a nomination this year!

2:00 Fuck, is Michelle Williams in anything this winter?

2:19 This song is LONG!

2:26 My hair is kinda heavy.

2:36 LOL, I’m dancin’.

2:52 I hope I still have that Xanax that Jessica Chastain gave me.

2:57 Oh, shit, I gave it to Charlotte Gainsbourg. I’ll call her.

2:59 What’s my assistant’s name again?

3:01 Sally?

3:03 No, Sally is the DOG.

3:12 I’m going to pretend I’m Bjork for the rest of this thing.

3:16 Boo! I’m Bjork!

3:20 I’m Bjork and sooooo shy.

3:26: Fairies! Stars! Moons! Oh… we’re done?

3:30 What? Another take?!

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