What A Cointreauversial Teese!

Share Button

Dita Von Teese stares through the crowd into the spotlight as she gyrates slowly in front of a giant martini glass filled with what looks like antifreeze. She is weighed down by jewels that shimmer over her curves, of which there are many. She slowly removes her corset-like torso clamp to reveal the skin underneath. It’s perfect, the skin, save for a few telling marks left behind by the clothes she is no longer wearing. Ogling, despite myself, I spill the remaining Cointreau Teese I’ve been sipping-guzzling on my shirt. The performance continues, and soon, Teese is giving herself a spongebath. I’ve never in my life seen an audience so rapt. Under lascivious lighting at the Angel Orensanz Foundation—a former synagogue equal parts neo-gothic and “Friederichwerdeschekirche”—Teese wriggles and writhes, her smile forced but warm. Anachronisms are at play, and yet, somehow not. Nobody pays much heed, however, because the drinks are delicious (click the jump for Teese’s recipe), the performer sublime. And, apparently the martini glass was filled with neither antifreeze nor Cointreau. It was Mr. Bubbles.

1 ½ oz. Cointreau ¾ oz. apple juice ½ oz. Monin violet syrup ½ oz. fresh lemon juice

Shake, strain, and garnish with sequins, feathers, or pasties.