Like most people who write for a living, I live in Brooklyn in a little apartment with a big TV and a tiny cat who likes to bite noses. We writing types rarely leave our apartments – we prefer to work from home, fattening up on greasy delivery as we mock gorgeous celebs. On the rare occasions when I do leave my apartment, however, sometimes venturing all the way into Manhattan to do things like “meet with my editor” or “buy underwear,” I’m always reminded of the same, inarguable fact: people in New York are really, really good looking. Even the homeless can sometimes be sexy. There are your standard ugly people, sure (nothing to be done about them), but for the most part, New York is home to a disproportionate number of hotties, male and female. Whatever the reason, New York should be considered one of the most attractive cities in America – it just is. And yet, according to this new list from Travel + Leisure, it’s not even in the Top 10. Check out their patently ludicrous – and racist! – rankings after the jump.
10. Nashville: Okay, I’m down. Cowboy boots and a southern twang are hot. 9. Denver: Really? I’ve never actually been there, but judging by the fact that a) lots of annoying skiers live in Colorado b) so do the Denver Broncos and c) Colorado is the whitest state, like, ever, I think this is a questionable call. 8. Austin: I lived in Austin for a year, and yes, it’s true, there are a lot of very attractive people in Austin, Texas. There are also a lot of really fat people. A lot. 7. San Juan, PR: Totally agree, but should this really count as a US city? I call cheating. 6. Honolulu: Again, definitely some babes in Honolulu, if 80s movies and music videos are to be believed. But should Hawaii even count? I want a continental list, people. Everyone knows it’s unfair to include islands (c.f. San Juan). The rest of us don’t stand a chance! 5. Salt Lake City: Remember when I said Colorado was the whitest state ever? I was wrong. It’s Utah. The only black person there is Karl Malone, and he doesn’t even live there anymore. Actually, I knew a Jamaican dude who briefly lived in Utah. He said it was weird, and that all the girls were waiting for marriage. Then he moved to Florida and had a lot of sex. So thumbs down. 4. Miami: Based on everything I’ve seen on Jersey Shore: Miami, Miami should be disqualified from all competitions of this nature. 3. Savannah: Never been there, but the name sounds sexy, if sorta stripper-like. Also, there was that WB show from the late 90s set there that had really good looking people in it. 2. San Diego: San Diego has some impossibly toned surfer types, sure. As good-looking as the people in LA, who knows? We do know that, like New York, LA was probably too “mainstream” for this list. Also, the plastic surgery factory kind of ruins it. San Diego is a good call. Also: Ron Burgundy. 1. Charleston: Well, we should’ve seen this coming: T+L love southern white college towns. What is up with that?
And here’s their list of ugliest cities:
10. Sante Fe: I know a guy from Sante Fe who would kick my ass if I said anything bad about it. So I won’t comment. 9. Kansas City: Great Barbeque. 8. Houston: True. 7. Portland, ME: Probably the best looking city in Maine, but that’s not saying much. 6. Washington D.C.: Good old “Hollywood for ugly people.” Also: another instance of T+L being racist/anti-urban. 5. Orlando: No argument. 4. Anchorage: No idea, but Sarah Palin’s from Alaska, so I’ll agree with this on principle. 3. Philadelphia: Once again, another mixed-race urban metropolis gets dissed. 2. Baltimore: See above. Also, see The Wire. No really, see The Wire. It’s an excellent show. 1. Memphis: Ouch. People from Memphis, feel free to comment below.