The Stag-at Guide: Whiskey Park

Now this is more like it! Whiskey Park has a bitch “hitting refresh on Craigslist’s Missed Connections all morning.” Apparently some “Bergdorf blondes” were well aware that single men, “healthy, wealthy and charming as all-get-out,” abound here. Sitting magically “across the street from The Ritz in Glittery Trump Tower” where “a dozen horses and carriages wait outside to sweep new – and thoroughly Congac’d – lovers off their (fingers crossed!) soon-to-be Louboutined feet,” this is the place to go if you’re starting to give up hope. That is if you like men who “live upstairs, you’ll love the view”, wear “Marc Jacobs button-downs with cufflinks from Etsy” and would love to “get you a box on opening day but you gotta consider it a date.” Where do I sign?

Comfort level for a single lady(1-30): 30 Drinks purchased for a single lady: One 15 dollar Manhattan with a “pshhhh, whatever it’s nothin’.” Male to female ratio: 2:1 Single to couple ratio: 3:1 Overheard: “Shit, she’s leaving. Shit. Shit man, those boots. Shit.” – Some dude to his pals as I left. I don’t care if they might not have been talking about me, a girl can dream. Chances of returning (1-30): 30. Is two nights in a row pushing it?

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