Short on Cash, Nevada Brothels Start Serving Up Dudes

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A shortage of johns is prompting Nevada brothels to add something new to the menu. No, you still can’t do that, you sick fuck. We’re talking about men! Coming soon to pleasure dens across rural Nevada is so much sexxxy man meat you won’t know where to put it all.

Bobbi Davis, of depressing, trailer-looking cathouse The Shady Lady, spoke to Fox News about the move. “There are a lot of career-minded women out there who are looking for romance but not necessarily a relationship,” she said. (And by “romance,” she obviously means “a no-bullshit plowing of your neglected lady garden.”) “Women want someone to have a nice time with — and just like men they don’t want to have to worry about calling them in the morning.”

The men, Davis assured, will have all their teeth and be free of tattoos and piercings. Yay? They will also be skilled in the physical act of love. How such skills will be verified is unclear; maybe some letters of reference or an audition. Davis added that although most requests for boy-toys have come from women, she won’t discriminate in the unlikely event that some male customers happen to materialize. Bitch, please. You and I both know the real cash will come from safe-ish, legal, gay-for-pay action and the kinky boys who love it, and that’s ok. I know it scares Fox News to talk about how some men like to make sex on each other, but embrace your mission! Just wait, you’ll be so flush you can buy a second trailer. The only thing I’m confused about is why nobody thought to do this sooner.