On Sunday, Americans will trick themselves into caring about hockey one last time, when their Olympic men’s hockey team will go up against either Slovakia or Canada in the gold medal game. Since we all know it will be Canada, this means a rematch of the game that suddenly ignited U.S. interest in hockey for the first time since the word ‘mom’ wasn’t attached to the end of it. Now that Sunday is suddenly Game Day, the question is, where is the ideal spot in New York to cheer on a bunch of guys you’ve never heard of before?
As a Canadian, I’ve been watching all my games at a location that will remain secret, so I can maximize my chances of securing a spot in front of the big screen. But if I wasn’t going to Location X, I’d be watching the game at all of these locations, simultaneously.
Cheer on Team U.S.A. at Warren 77, but if owner Sean Avery is in the house, you might want to keep your chants to a murmur. He’s Canadian and he can kick your ass. Sixteen high-definition big screens line the walls at Firefly in Nolita. You might have to wrastle a screen away from an clueless NCAA aficionado, but those guys generally fall somewhere in the ‘pussy’ category. We kind of hate to say it, because there’s nothing less hockey than the American South, but Southern Hospitality on the Upper East Side is always a raucous good time when it comes to sports, as are the various Brother Jimmy’s locations across the city. The loudest and most grating U-S-A chants will be busting down the walls of The Village Pourhouse. If you’re a Canadian, sneak in there incognito, stare pompousness directly in the eye, and then spit in it when your home team wins. Sorry, but it’s inevitable.