Michelle Obama Rescues Sasha & Malia from Doll Hell

imageIn her first noble act as First Lady, Michelle Obama has put a stop to the senseless exploitation of her daughters, but not before doll-breeders Ty, Inc. have had one final go with the whole, “ZOMG so our latest line of dolls are black girls and there are two of them and they’re hitting the market just as our new President who, as chance would have it, is the father to two such upstanding young girls. So what! Big whoop!” shtick. But we all know that the First Lady’s fiery leer is enough to burn a hole through the heart of the most malignant business tycoon. And so the beloved First Daughters of America are safe from corporate shillery just a little while longer — at least their names are.

Contrastingly, very few peeps have heard about the proliferation of the Sarah Palin line of Cabbage Patch Kids or this pricey incarnation of Katy Perry. And it seems that even Barbie herself has fallen on hard times, as Mattel Inc. saw their earnings plummet last year. But if you’re still feeling dispirited about the continued proliferation of these avatars of anti-feminism, chuck one of these special edition Barbies at your television the next time iCarly’s forehead takes up the entire expanse of your plasma screen. Ultimately, it makes little difference. All dolls get waylaid in nasty pop purgatory anyway.

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