Links: Gary Coleman Arrested for Domestic Assault; Woman Falls into Picasso Painting

● Gary Coleman was arrested for domestic assault, making this a perfect time to do a little gossip math: (Diff’rent Strokes pun) + (“What’chu talkin’ ’bout, Willis?” variation) = joke. Ta-da! [TMZ] ● Ashton Kutcher announced via Twitter that he will host Saturday Night Live on Feburary 6th. If only his monologue could be limited to 140 characters. [The Wrap] ● Tila Tequila and Kelly Osbourne have beef on Twitter, though Tila’s recap of the whole thing is unreadable thanks to white text and all caps. Luckily, the diss “Smelly Ozbonkers” is in the first line. [Tila’s Hot Spot]

● A student fell into Picasso’s “The Actor” at the Metropolitan Museum of Art, ripping a 6-inch hole through the painting and writing her obituary in the process, because really, how could you top that story? [Gawker/NYT] ● Time thinks John Edwards can be rehabilitated, but there’s no mention of neutering so it might not work. [Time] ● Prince William is getting to be really, really bald, but it couldn’t matter less because it’s royal pattern baldness. [ONTD]

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