Links: Betty White is Hosting ‘SNL’ Thanks to You; Justin Bieber is a Pot Smoking Song Thief?

● The internet won Betty White a hosting gig on Saturday Night Live. To recap: first we elected a president, then that got boring so we revitalized the career of a Golden Girl. [People] ● Speaking of the president, Dan Rather used the words “articulate” and “watermelons” while speaking about our black one and that will get you blogged about! [Daily Intel] ● The University of Texas at Austin acquired David Foster Wallace’s archive, including his dictionary with words circled like “ort,” “suint” and “witenagemot.” [UT of A]

● Aziz Ansari’s Raaaaaaaandy claims Justin Bieber stole “Baby” from his song “Baby, Baby,” complete with a video reenactment. [Funny or Die] ● Hipster Runoff is reporting that Urban Outfitters will launch a wedding line. Also, the universe is imploding. [HRO] ● 90 types of bitches, as chronicled by some third grader that make Mean Girls looks like Little House on the Prairie. [And I Am Not Lying]

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