Links: Al Gore’s Sexual Abuse Allegations, Mariah Carey’s Dog Bill Accusations

● Al Gore was the focus of a sexual abuse investigation stemming from a “three-hour, $540 massage session” in Oregon. You can’t make this stuff up. [Page Six] ● Jerry Seinfeld continues to run his mouth about Lady Gaga: “You take one ‘A’ off of that and you’ve got ‘gag.’” Gross like a father poking fun at his daughter’s friends. [TIME] ● Everyone knows the internet is for toplessness, so sit back and enjoy the top 25 photos of Jack Nicholson without a shirt on — eating not recommended. [BuzzFeed]

● Mariah Carey has been sued by her veterinarian, who claims the singer owes $30,000 in unpaid bills for her three dogs. Thirty grand is like two weeks of babysitting for Nick Cannon. [PopEater] ● According to a new GQ profile, M.I.A. wants to wear a white suit to her wedding, because that’s what rebels do, and Billy Idol, too. [Celebuzz] ● U.S. soccer hero Landon Donovan’s last minute goal against Algeria has been appropriately remixed, demonstrating American might. [TDW]

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