In Defense of Michael Phelps

In case you didn’t want to believe it before, Michael Phelps has finally proved that he too, is human. Not by losing a race or by spraining a quad. In fact, all it took was a bong, a hit, and a camera. That Michael Phelps smokes weed shouldn’t be a surprise to anyone who already knew that he’s a stripper-groping, drunk-driving, sideways hat-wearing, d-bag. Not to mention that he consumes 10,000 calories a day, which for anyone who’s not always stoned is completely impossible.

But the kid is 23 years old, is the owner of a bottomless bank account, and can nail whoever and whatever he wants. He should be smoking weed, hitting the open bar, and snorting some lines while he’s at it. Because before he knows it, he’ll be back in that pool training for 2012, and the only form of entertainment he’ll get then is imagining how fucked up he’s going to get once he breaks his own records again.

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