iFidelity: iPhone Apps for Peeping Palms

PEREZ HILTON [Free] When you’re desperate to find out if LiLo broke probation, or who Jake Gyllenhaal is locking lips with this week, Perez Hilton is your pop culture compass (even if his moral needle is pointing due south). His official iPhone app doesn’t disappoint, granting gossip fiends access to “Hollywood’s Most Sassy Website” at a moment’s notice, offering live-streaming updates and breaking news on the world’s most famous fuck-ups. It also has a stealth stalker mode with push notifications that tell you where the stars are hiding out (or shooting up) in your neighborhood. Share the latest tweets, YouTube videos, and—ZOMG!—posts from Mario Armando Lavandeira, Jr. with your own personal peanut gallery.

iSAMJACKSON (EXPLICIT) [$.99] When it comes to sound advice, one needn’t look further than Samuel L. Jackson, and now everyone can consult the King of Cool with iSamJackson, an elaborate, expletive-filled soundboard that features 150 original recordings from the Pulp Fiction and Jackie Brown star. (There is a free “clean” version, but what’s the fun in that?) Find out whether you’re in the same league as Jackson with a “personality scanner” that decides if you’re a bad-ass in training or just a wannabe super-fan. Recommended for use on long flights—even those devoid of muthfuckin’ snakes.

FOODSPOTTING [Free] Why can’t all menus have photos? There’s nothing worse than being forced to use your imagination while salivating for a specific dish. The Foodspotting application offers sanctuary for your weary taste buds with a visual guide to specific plates, a directory of where to find them, and reviews from fellow food enthusiasts. It’s a user-generated guide to restaurants that pairs recommendations with lip-licking photos and guides from top taste-masters like Anthony Bourdain. It also connects local foodies across the country by offering menu-based scavenger hunts and FourSquare-inspired expert badges. Now this is what we call playing with your food.

BARISTA [$2.99] Everyone seems to have a fancy espresso machine these days, but few of us actually know how to use one. Instead of keeping a Starbucks employee chained in your kitchen, download Barista to access step-by-step instructions and learn classic latte-making techniques. Immerse yourself in coffee culture and learn the proper methods for sorting, selecting, grinding, and pouring. There’s even a coffee-talk glossary that provides a comprehensive list of the latest in bean terminology.

GLEE KARAOKE [$.99] Look, we all know the reason so many people watch Glee is to reenact the show’s perfectly choreographed musical numbers. Enter Glee Karaoke, one of the most downloaded apps in the world, which invites aspiring Glee-ks to sing, compete, and share the stage with other shower showboats. Since we don’t all sound like Lea Michele, the app boasts a voice enhancement option, pitch correction, and reverb tweaks so your song doesn’t clear the room. With new tracks available each week, you’ll be on your way to pop-star status in no time. At the very least, you’ll sound as good as Britney without the help of auto-tune.

POP SUGAR CELEBRITY FACEOFF LITE [Free] When it comes to celebrity superlatives, there’s always room for debate, something this Hollywood-obsessed app welcomes with open arms. Keep up with the latest gossip, and peruse recent shots of your favorite stars while battling over pop culture trivia with your friends. With games such as “Favorite Celebrity Dad,” (The guy who was married to Kate Gosselin!) “Who’s More Fab?,” (Fabio!) and “Sexiest Bathing Suit Bod,” (Bieber! Arrest us, officers!), you’ll be sucked into a pop culture vortex even wider than, er, Octomom’s octo-incubator. Check out high scores and share yours with others to determine who’s really Hollywood’s most wanted.

AMATEUR SURGEON [$2.99] Inspired in equal measure by TV’s Dexter and the classic board game Operation, Amateur Surgeon (from the warped minds responsible for Adult Swim) turns the ER table into a bloody good time. Use instruments like pizza cutters, salad tongs, and staplers to perform invasive surgeries on unknowing subjects, while hacking your way through 30 different surgeries. Save some virtual lives and become the dreamy doctor Mom always hoped you’d be.

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