The much-anticipated royal wedding happened this morning, and soon, we’ll have to find something new to talk about. But while the memory is still fresh — and while the newlyweds are still partying (note the just-released picture of the Royal Wedding Cake!) — we can still get right into it. The trick to enjoying royal wedding related stuff is to entirely suspend disbelief and pretend that all of the hullabaloo is totally normal and in fact necessary. I watched the whole wedding start to finish this morning. Below, a highlight reel of sorts, leaving out the obvious money shots of the Kiss (adorable!) and the Dress (amazing).
Piers Morgan Is The Biggest Royal Wedding Fan Ever
I tuned into CNN for my royal wedding coverage, which consisted of Anderson Cooper wondering how he went from covering Egypt to watching rich white people get married, and Piers Morgan being a huge royal fanboy. Piers spent this morning breathlessly intoning things like “We’ve got a new superstar in Kate Middleton” and “And if that doesn’t make you proud to be British, nothing will.” He took to Twitter as well: “One over-riding thought watching this magnificent occasion: The British Monarchy is BACK. #biggeststarsintheworld.” (Which is actually kind of valid; people love to talk about how the monarchy is “losing its luster,” but the events of this morning were nothing if not lustrous.)
Princess Beatrice’s Crazy Hat
This was a hat! I don’t even know what to say about it. It’s wild. It already has almost 12,000 Facebook fans. Expecting a single-serving Tumblr soon. Kate Didn’t Mess Up William’s Name
For some reason I was expecting this to happen. The royals have such long complicated names, and Diana infamously vowed to wed “Philip Charles Arthur George” (the Charles part is supposed to come first) in 1981. Kate got it right: “William Arthur Philip Louis.”
Adorable Aristocratic Children
Aww! No idea who they even belonged to. Pippa Middleton led a few of them down the aisle. The girls were in precious little dresses and the boys were in wee darling suits.
Kate Did Her Own Makeup
It’s true! That’s ballsy. If I were going to appear in front of the whole world on my wedding day, I would hire every makeup artist I could get my hands on.
There’s lots more to discuss, for example, whether or not Kate Middleton will produce a male heir. It’s time for that now, right? Paging the Daily Mail.