Dress Up, Have Fun – Halloween Tips From Uncle Steve

The key to enjoying all the treats of Halloween is to anticipate all the tricks. Getting around is a problem. Cabs are usually scarce and often cannot accommodate big costumes. Cabbies who often don’t have a cultural connection to this wonderful holiday often bypass scary monsters and super freaks. Cabs might pass you up for a fairy or Miley Cyrus get up. Eggs and water balloons from rambunctious youngins are always a threat. Club doors are always nervous because they can’t really tell who is in the costume. They may not let grim reapers or Thors in with their scythes and hammers even if they are plastic. A normally very safe establishment might be letting in hobgoblins or ghouls who have been 86’d before for fights or drug dealing and such. Wallets and purses and cellphones are often victims because costumes are not often designed to protect them. Although not quite the desperate amateur night that New Years Eve is, Halloween can be a nightmare on any street. One idea that may help is stay local or take subways. Get a money belt or some such contraption to secure valuables. Stay alert: listen for usually loud predatory gangs of kids. Wear costumes that don’t disrupt your vision or hearing. Go to well-run places and plan your route home. When I have a few bucks on big holidays I like to reserve a car service for 3 or 4 hours. It is usually quite cheap to do especial if split with friends. They will be there to run you around and get you back where you belong and they usually don’t make fun of your costume. There are many more safety concepts but let common sense rule your night, even though it is a night where common sense has been banished.

One of the things on the to-do list: Tiesto at Tao Downtown seems to be a winner for those who like that sort of thing. Tao is new, it is beautiful, it is amazing, professionally run, and has booked one of the world’s biggest EDM talents. For the hipper than thou set check out the unbelievable good time guy Jonathan Toubin at Secret Project Robot (389 Melrose St. in Bushwick):Night Train 8th Anniversary Party w/Alana Amram’s Monster Mash with all of your favorite bands playing as their favorite bands (like The Damned, The Who, Black Sabbath…) playing your favorite songs (8pm-12am) followed by the annual New York Night Train Haunted Hop w/JT (12pm-4am playing the finest unique Halloween platters of all time in a fog-filled room with wall-to-wall moving visuals,) plus a performance by Hula Hoop Harlot Melissa Anne, and the annual costume contest. $5 in costume/$20 without costume.

The fashionista set will flock to Susanne Bartsch at Marquee. Kayvon Zand has the Voluptuous Horror of Karen Black and his post-Goth sexy crowd at Bowery Electric. Input is at Output. Afrojack is at Pacha. Sankeys is opening and Joonbug has lots of places with parties for you and Lit is always it. I’ll be at Passenger Bar (239 Roebling in Williamsburg) with Murray Hill and Andy Rourke of the Smiths, and for the early birds, I love a parade. Sandy washed the parade away last year so it figures to be doubly hot today. There’s so much to do but remember to dress up, and be safe.

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