Oh, the tragedy! The horror! The heartbreak! Paula Abdul‘s departure from American Idol isn’t even old news yet (neither is a potential new career on So You Think You Can Dance), but producers are already shopping for sterling successors. So that void left between Simon and Randy? Why, it’s got Victoria Beckham‘s name written on it, of course. In immaculate calligraphy, no less. Perfect Spice has been confirmed a guest appearance on the show may span more than a single episode. This, in turn helps expedite the grieving process — a process that some of us already shirk. But because 2010’s February sweeps are too far away, let’s pontificate on what a Posh-laden Idol may look like, by cherry-picking a few of her television and film appearances. If only to hasten the madness that fans have been a-twitterin’ already.
There’s no doubt that when Beckham appears on Idol, the fanfare will be comparable to this:
Which will infuriate Simon Cowell so much that he’ll work in passive-aggressive asides to her and her lack of vocal talent. So when Simon Cowell inevitably picks on her limited areas of expertise, Beckham will probably remain cool and succinct like so:
On telling a contestant, albeit eloquently, “You suck.”:
On telling a contestant, “Well done!” and actually meaning it:
But most importantly, on informing a contestant that their wardrobe and styling are simply unacceptable: