The last time I was suppose to go on a trip on someone else’s dime, I ended up spending the weekend locked in cage. I missed my flight to Jamaica, but avoided getting flattened by a steel light fixture, so it wasn’t all bad. But in the days leading up to this weekend, when I was scheduled to fly to Las Vegas, I made sure to abstain from all the things that make life worth living (like drinking beer on the street). So there was a small sense of triumph when I touched down in Las Vegas for AXE Fixers/March Madness weekend. The men’s grooming company, notorious for their suggestive marketing, is launching the latest addition to their Fixer line, this one called Rise, which somehow translates into a room at the Hard Rock Hotel, to dinner at Le Cirque, and bottle service at Lavo, for me and some other writer types. I won’t bore you with my impressions of Las Vegas, or stories about pompous doormen denying me entry into nightclubs because of my footwear. I will however bore you with some iPhone snaps from a weekend that, sitting back at my desk on a rainy Monday in New York, now feels like a Grey Goose-induced fever dream.
This is the 160GB iPod they sent us before the trip, loaded with movies and songs about Vegas. I watched The Hangover in its entirety, which must be infuriating for David Lynch.
A female lion in the MGM Grand, clearly devastated over the bronzing of her husband, seen below.
The tournament was everywhere. Everyone on the trip had to fill out a bracket with a mystery prize going to the winner. I found out what it was, but am not allowed to say. Hint: It’s an iPad.
These little guys were the reason were our reason for being there. The blue one is called Shock, or as Axe likes to call it, Halls for your Balls.
The X-Scream ride on top of the Stratosphere, as seen through the eyes of a skilled manipulator of natural lighting and framing.
The most terrifying haircut I ever did see on a man.
The line at Lavo. They wouldn’t let me in for wearing black Converse sneakers. An infuriating and outdated policy.
The Strip as soon from the penthouse.
The pool at the Hard Rock as seen from the penthouse. Home to the legendary Sunday Rehab parties.
She totally knew I was taking this picture.
Apparently bikinis and cowboy boots are the new ‘look.’
Whatever possessed me to take this photo, it’s something very dark.
They use these to stab you in the heart.