NEWS BITES: Guinness, Gaga, and Jaywalking

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No LOL: Ukraine Cops Text Protesters

Take note USA: the Ukraine government is using cellphone data to track protesters and target them. Rioters receive a text saying “Dear subscriber, you are registered as a participant in a mass disturbance.”

China Lifts Lady Gaga Ban

The pop star has been removed from a Chinese government blacklist, allowing her chart-topping new album “ARTPOP” to legally go on sale in China.

Guinness Planned To Advertise in Nazi Germany

In 1936, the quintessential Irish drink readied an ad campaign that featured swastikas and Nazi soldiers.

US Positions To Rescue Americans In Case Of Sochi Attack

This is turning into the most downer Olympics of all time: our military is positioning warships and aircraft to evacuate American officials and athletes in case terrorists strike Sochi.

Fury Over NY Jaywalking Crackdown

“To go from no enforcement to this aggressive action was overkill,” said Councilman Mark Levine.

A 17-Year-Old Was Behind the Target Hack

I could’ve told you that. A 17-year-old Russian kid — username “ree4” — appears to have been the author of the point-of-sale malware used.