Why the Lady Gaga-Britney Spears Duet Is Already Doomed

It is a truth universally acknowledged that any pop star in want of a duet with another similar-sounding pop star is just begging for one of the biggest musical disappointments of her career. It’s here that we stick our ears to the ground and listen to rumblings that hint at Lady Gaga and Britney Spears teaming up for a duet. Maybe a 21st century take of “The Boy Is Mine”?

Details are dicey, however. According to a source–so nondescript as they are!– Gaga’s father ran into Spears at a singles mixer, a cocktail reception for Haiti or maybe even the Grammys and later introduced Gaga to the popstrel. Then Gaga and Brit-Brit swapped phone numbers with the vague promise that the two would meet up for a jam session as soon as Gaga’s Fame Monster tour wraps. Before we get too excited about Brit-Brit’s collaboration with the New Madonna, let’s recall that time she had a sing along with Old, Wrinkled Madonna:

Devastating, wasn’t it? More devastating is this unsexy Sapphic moment the pair famously shared:

Thankfully, Gaga’s not so hard-pressed for theatrics–should her Spears-assisted song-and-dance see the light of day. This, however, isn’t the first time the pair tried to make it work. Gaga’s forthcoming single–“Telephone,” which also features Beyoncé–was previously offered to Spears.

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