The Evildoers Are Claiming That Beyoncé Lip-Synced the National Anthem

Beyoncé, the greatest human in the history of humans, did the honors of singing the National Anthem yesterday following Barack Obama’s second inauguration. And boy, did she knock it out of the park. OR DID SHE? Some people are now claiming that Beyoncé did not sing at all! Call the Warren Commission, because this is serious business!

First, the Washingtonian speculated that, as the Marine Corps band did not actually play the National Anthem, it makes no sense that Beyoncé sang the song:

But to close observers, it appeared the performer was not singing live. To press seated just below the podium, in front of the “President’s Own” Marine Corps Band, it was evident that the band wasn’t actually playing during the song—even though band director Colonel Michael J. Colburn was conducting energetically and the band members mimicked blowing into their instruments. Separately, at one point during her performance, Beyoncé removed her earpiece.

But but but couldn’t she have sang it anyway? Please, mister, don’t tell me that one of my greatest joys (Beyoncé’s live-singing) has turned out to be a fake!

Alas! It is true:

A spokeswoman for the Marine Corp Band said it was standard procedure to record a backing track and Beyoncé decided shortly before her performance to rely on the studio version rather than risk singing it live on the Capitol.

And this is how I feel about all of that:

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