Punching Glenn Danzig And Other Things That Will Get Your Book Published

Back in 2004, Danny Marianino of the band North Side Kings punched horror-punk icon Glenn Danzig in the face. Now, he’s writing a book about it, appropriately titled Don’t Ever Punch a Rock Star. In it, Marianino offers his perspective on the fiery moment of impact and "learning to shrug off one of the most opinionated events in music history." (There they are, folks: Dylan going electric, the advent of music piracy, and Danny Marianino punching Danzig in the face.) The book will be full of hate mail, dissection from the media and the public and the rather incensed dialogue around the fight, which Danzig says he let his opponent take. 

So, in honor of Marianino, here are some other things we’ve found will get your book out as of late. What are you talking about? We’re not bitter. Shut up. You’re bitter.

Be A Kardashian… No, the Younger Kardashians: Following in the footsteps of their older K-named trio of siblings’ novel, Dollhouse, Kylie and Kendall Kardashian will be collaborating on a young adult sci-fi novel. The authors have said their "dystopian" work will take place "in a world none of us have ever seen" and star two sisters (sounds familiar) on a quest of some kind, with Suzanne Collins and The Hunger Games providing some inspiration. 

Be Married to the Woman Who Wrote 50 Shades of Grey: Let’s hope he’s nothing like Christian Grey. E.L. James’ husband, Niall Leonard, also a writer who has mostly made his trade in scripts for television, has signed a deal to publish his novel, although this one perhaps is more geared toward the children whose parents are reading 50 Shades. Crusher, which Leonard began writing during National Novel Writing Month (or NaNoWriMo, as participants know it), tells the story of a teenage boy who becomes the main suspect in the murder of his stepfather and goes to crack the case. 

When All Else Fails, The Single-Serving Tumblr: If you can dream it, you can publish it, and they will put it on that first table when you walk into Urban Outfitters. On a rather fitting note for today, we were wondering whether or not Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes’ recently announced plans for divorce would impact the fall 2012 release of the book adaptation of one of the best single-serving Tumblrs on the Internet, the wonderfully witty—and sometimes claws-out brutal—Suri’s Burn Book.

Actually Do Something Legitimately Amazing and Inspiring: In 2010, Rutgers football player Eric LeGrand became paralyzed from the neck down following an on-field injury. He’s since spent the past two years working tenaciously to walk again, and inspiring many people in the process. His positive attitude and message have led to a deal from HarperCollins for two books—one for adults, one a YA-geared book—about persistence, hope and looking on the bright side. 

So uh, that’s where the bar is at right now, recent MFA graduates. Be a Kardashian, invent Twitter or punch a celebrity in the face. Go to it. 

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