It’s The Remix to Ignition, and It’s On A Petition

Now usually I don’t do this, and by “this,” I mean acknowledging those silly White House petitions that people use to troll the democratic process, but, uh, America could use a little bit of the remix. At least, the drafters of one particular petition and the more than 2,000 people who have signed it think so. Over the weekend, someone posted a petition to urge the White House to change the national anthem from “The Star-Spangled Banner” to R. Kelly’s “Ignition (Remix).”

As they write on the whitehouse.gov page:

“We, the undersigned, would like the Obama administration to recognize the need for a new national anthem, one that even a decade after its creation, is still hot and fresh out the kitchen. America has changed since Francis Scott Key penned our current anthem in 1814. Since then, we have realized that after the show, it’s the afterparty, and that after the party, it’s the hotel lobby, and–perhaps most importantly–that ’round about four, you’ve got to clear the lobby, at which point it’s strongly recommended that you take it to the room and freak somebody. President Obama: we ask you to recognize the evolution of this beautiful country and give us an anthem that better suits the glorious nation we have become.”

We’re guessing this is mostly in an effort to reach the minimum signatures (100,000) to where the White House is required to respond to the request, as occurred with the Death Star petition (man, you nerds really demand a lot from your Commander-In-Chief, don’t you?). Preferably a response that involves the POTUS performing said song at the next White House press conference or putting in a good word for R. Kelly for next year’s Kennedy Center Honors.

And yeah, it’s not gonna happen, but that doesn’t change the fact that “Ignition (Remix)” is one of the greatest songs of the past decade, and honestly, why not? Because everyone loves this song, regardless of background or political affiliation. It could bring about a unity America so desperately needs. And just think of the renditions at high school basketball games and NASCAR events! On the Olympic podiums! What a world that would be.

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