Beth Ditto & Jesus Join Forces to Save Susan Boyle

imageLeave it to Beth Ditto to don a pair of angel wings and nudge Susan Boyle from her stress sleep. And then as Boyle stirs awake, calling out for her cat Pebbles, Ditto tells her, “No sweetie, we’re not in Blackburn anymore.” Then she gingerly takes the bonny woman’s hand and assists her back out to the world to face the blinding light of paparazzi flashguns and obsessive speculations of bloggers. At least this is what The Gossip frontwoman is hoping to do for the exhausted Britain’s Got Talent runner-up by way of recruiting her to form a gospel supergroup.

Says Ditto, “I’m reaching out to Susan. She should hook up with me and The Priests. We would be the world’s first gospel supergroup.” She proceeds to slightly confuse herself with the subject of all the hymns she’d be singing if Boyle were to form this supergroup, adding, “I think it’s horrible people have been making fun of her. Susan just wants to love Jesus and sing — it’s cute. Only I can help her out of her meltdown.”

It’s no doubt that Ditto, as opposed to someone less benevolent, would actually work wonders with helping Boyle adjust to the messianic complex at her disposal. Possible numbers in their supergroup’s set could include: “Jesus Freak Like Me” (set to this) and of course, a word-for-word cover of Beyoncé’s “Halo”. Of course.

Share Button

Facebook Comments