Lit’s Anniversary Party, Noel’s New Joint, & My Tooth

A tooth that once took a solid left hook from a very tough gal a couple years ago finally went down for the count – and took the rest of me with it. Therefore, I missed the un-missable event of my new year, the 9th anniversary of Lit. The people I was going to meet at the soiree spoke incoherently when I asked them what had happened. They seemed to have had a blast but were of no use to me, so I turned to the proprietor, the debonair man about town Erik Foss, who everyone just calls Foss. Here are his 9 highs and lows:

1) No cops, no blood. There was total harmony. 2) No Ron Jeremy, that made me sad (a reference to my famous friend who I brought to the 8 year anniversary). 3) Leo Fitzpatrick, Josh Wildman [photographer], Jonathan Tobbin, Naeem [Spank Rock], Sal P [Liquid Liquid] Djed, and “it girl” Becka Diamond, the band xx was in the house. 4) Hussle Club and Fresh Kills performed. 5) Paul Sevigny attended but did not DJ, as his new club opened in LA yesterday, so he had to prepare. I wonder what they thought when they got a look at him and Andre! Hahahahaha 5) OK, now I keep getting her name wrong but Fiona and the Somethings? [Florence and the Machine] she opened up the Grammys this year, and won, I think? Redhead from London? She was wicked cool and her friends were also. The first thing she said to me was: “Why can’t people be nice when you meet for the first time?” She said we were nice. That got me stoked 6) Nick Zinner was in full form. 7) A woman flew here from Puerto Rico with her luggage in hand, tan, and covered in sand! 8) Brain and Matt McAuly from the A.R.E. Weapons were in full force. Brain the singer of the Weapons was celebrating his birthday as well. 9) Spencer Prada [I think Foss means Spencer Product—maybe?] in full effect, and may have been his birthday too. So many friggin’ birthdays! George Washington’s birthday too, I believe. 10) Zack Williams, new gallerists Mallick Williams Co., and the son of actor Robin Williams in full attendance, hanging with New York gallerist Jonathan Levine, and bar mogul Mikel Stuart [Beauty Bar]. If I haven’t told you, I am doing my first solo art show this September 11th at Mallick Williams Co. in Chelsea. The show is called “Avarice,” and is about the greed that fueled such events 10) I think Obama pulled up, but decided not to come in because the line was too long.

This late night text was full of inaccuracies, and I did my best to clean it up. Such is Foss. Such is Rock and Roll. Such is the morning after the night of. Someone once said that “a picture is worth a thousand words.” Well, a thousand words from a real insider like Lit honcho Erik Foss paints a very accurate picture of why the place has lasted so long. Foss is what I call genuine, and that feeling pervades his joint. All the proper spelling, punctuation, and remembering correct names, fancy chandeliers, expensive finishes, and celebrity friends couldn’t create “genuine.”

Funny how a little tooth can make my whole gizmo inoperable. I think clubs and restaurants are like that. A place can be a well-oiled machine: food or drinks are great, the place looks hot, and yet one dick employee can send a customer home with a bad experience. A bad employee is like a bad bicuspid. Sometimes it’s all amazing, but it’s a bit too bright, or too loud, or even too cold or hot. The experience that can make a first-time customer into a regular rests on a thousand little things that can go wrong. Management, often the weakest link, must be ever vigilant. Lit has gotten it right enough to be still standing long after their competitors have been redesigned as Starbucks or chic boutiques. It remains a time capsule of an era gone by, but an era that is severely missed. It’s beer soaked floors, tattooed staff, and consistently solid music—live or DJed—has it going for a decade more. It will make it. A decade in club years is unheard of. Here’s to Foss, David, and the capable crew of Lit. Still my favorite spot.

On the “You Heard it Here First” front, a rumor monger insists that Noel Ashman has just about sealed up a deal for a new lounge. The location is downtown, and I hear it’s small, but that’s all I could get. Stay tuned. Another event that I could not go to, but probably should have, was the party for Michael Collins 10 Year Single Malt downtown at Ward III on Reade street. I sipped some of this stuff a couple weeks ago, and found it scrumptious. I’m a sucker for this kind of swill when I actually do drink, which, of course is 2 or 3 times a year—whenever I have sex, or maybe have a bad toothache obtained on my fourth attempt last year. But that of course is a short story unto itself.

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