Celebrating Two Holidays: Devorah Rose’s Birthday & Mother’s Day

 

The birthday of Devorah Rose will get me to Bishops and Barons. With every nook and cranny of Manhattan vying for trendiness, worldliness, and bottle bucks, the East 14th Street joint will try to lure the scene east or north of traditional habitats. Though it is the easiest cab ride from Meatpacking straight across 14th street, or just a hop, skip, and a jump north of the L.E.S./ East Village/Nolita worlds of wonder, it seems so far away. I am skeptical. Although convenient to all, the neighborhood has zero cachet. The nearby IHOP and Artichoke Pizza does attract trendies looking for late-night carbs, but the overall vibe is less than chic. I’d follow Devorah anywhere. If there was a puddle before her I’d lay down my coat. If she let down her hair from the stone-walled tower, I’d climb it to free her. I’d even watch her on a reality TV show. Devorah can do no wrong by me. There is no rose that smells so sweet. Tonight I’ll get close enough to confirm that statement. I’m traveling with a pack of Hawaiian hotties this weekend, and maybe we’ll go and grab a pancake nearby right after.

I will feel more comfy in the confines of PKNY at 49 Essex Street between Hester and Grand Street on Saturday night from 10pm. PKNY is described in a press release as an "ultra weird Tiki Bar." I am ultra excited, My Hawaiians are the right accessory for this party. Sailor Jerry Rum and their explosive PR rep Dana Dynamite are behind this soireé. They are pushing cocktails made from the stuff. "Sailor" Jerry Collins, of course, had his famous shop in Honolulu back when men were men and tattoos were primarily for sailors and fallen women. They’re gonna arrange for me to get a tattoo because I’m handsome, enthusiastic, and wrote this. I’m gonna get a traditional Sailor Jerry flash art "MOM" in honor of Mother’s Day. Alex McWatt of Three Kings Tattoo will do the honors. He did the memorial portrait of my dog Arturo that graces my right shoulder.

Mother’s Day stops the presses for me. I and so many others will spend time with our moms while others will call, write, or send flowers. Many will only be able to pause to remember. I will have dinner with mom and dad and the whole world will be whole. Mothers can do that. I was going to make a list of all the mother@%#*!/’s of clubland, but decided that list can wait. Even assholes have mothers so I’ll respect and back down. I got my first eight of ten down with a tie of about 20 pricks for the last two spots. I would be curious who would top your list. Let me know who and why.

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