What Val Kilmer and Kid ‘n Play Have in Common

They’re raping my childhood again. Hollywood studios that is, who have reached a maximum aversion to anything other than pre-branded material. The 80’s are of late an especially ripe era for plundering it seems, with recent reboots, remakes, and re-jiggerings of such minor landmarks a Red Dawn, The Karate Kid, and Clash of the Titans all bound for the multiplex in short order. I have a feeling that this rapacity for old scripts isn’t ending here (you wish!), but rather beginning, and I’m steeling myself for lots more. A case in point is the news that two more sorta-beloved, second-tier 80’s favorites (though admittedly one is from 1990) are now slated to get the new millenial varnish job.

Pajiba reports that both science comedy Real Genius and musical (what?) House Party are serious contenders for remakes right now. The former is already going through re-writes at Columbia under the stewardship of Ron Howard’s Imagine Entertainment, and the latter is apparently in line to be a Brett Ratner (Rush Hour) project. These will be crap movies, rest assured, though neither of them inspires an “Oh God, why?” so much as a plain old “why?” These were never very interesting (or in the case of Real Genius, profitable) pictures to begin with, especially House Party, which was basically just an ad hoc vehicle for a rap duo Kid ‘n Play. Hitchcock may have famously averred that the best movies come from second-rate movies, but no one ever said good films come from crap movies.

Things will only go downhill from here.

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