It’s always five o’clock somewhere, right? In the clip below, the folks at Screen Junkies offer a montage of what it looks like to be pretend-drunk in a movie. Much like real life, it’s often embarrassing and unbelievable—just the kind of thing that will amusingly kill a few minutes of your afternoon, thus getting you that much closer to quitting time and happy hour. You get Steve Buscemi’s crustache, Billy Bob Thornton as a punching Santa Claus, an asshole in a homemade hat, Nic Cage getting headbutted, and a solid 20 seconds of puking. Now, who needs a drink?