‘The Hunger Games’ Are Coming to a Mall Near You

Not literally, unfortunately. Instead, the movie’s stars will hit the press circuit for a mall tour around America’s finest shopping centers, visiting locations in Los Angeles, Atlanta, Phoenix, Chicago, Miami, Dallas, Minneapolis and Seattle over the first week in March. It’ll mostly be the bit players who get the chance to be screamed at by thousands of 6th graders and their moms, but main stars Jennifer Lawrence and Liam Hemsworth will also be available for some dates. As for the adults like Elizabeth Banks and Woody Harrelson, well, ha ha, like hell if they were going to drag themselves through middle America for anything less than an Oscar nomination. If you’re interested, you can RSVP at the movie’s Facebook page. Total number of guests so far? 6,361  and counting over those seven malls. It’s going to be a madhouse! 

I mean, maybe you, the educated blog reader, isn’t interested in such a thing, but if you have a little sibling or cousin, you would actually be the coolest person ever by picking them up to go. It’s even okay if you like the Hunger Games yourself, because they are honestly pretty great and no one would fault you if you read through the three books in a weekend and subsequently spent hours fantasizing over how you’d fare in the Games yourself and how you and Katniss and Peeta and Gale would just be the best of friends forever and ever, yes you would, the adventures you’d have, the places you’d see, the people you’d kill. Memories to last a lifetime.

Anyways, advance tickets for the film’s March 23 release go on sale today through MovieTickets.com and Fandango.com. If nothing else, you can make a killing buying a bulk of them and jacking up the price for Adderalled tweenagers who don’t have anything better to spend their money on. Their brains will actually melt if they can’t get into that first showing, grey matter and all. It won’t be pretty, so try to cap the mark up at $50 out of fairness.

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