We warned you that this nonsense wouldn’t fly, but judging by the view count on the full red band trailer for this insult to the horror genre—nearly four million at this point—you didn’t listen. Enjoy your guaranteed disappointment!
The real Evil Dead came out in 1981, and it is a perfect film. It’s hilarious, no-budget, and actually kind of scary in a greasy, grindhouse way. What it didn’t need is for some studio with no original ideas in the pipeline to adapt it into relentless torture porn. It’s ridiculous enough that anyone’s still trying to make this sort of movie after The Cabin in the Woods, but let me remind you: the original Evil Dead was already making fun of the teenagers-trapped-in-the-wilderness trope. More than thirty goddamn years ago.
But god forbid we allow any irony onscreen these days—we’ve got to take our blood-barfing very seriously. All I can say is: every generation of moviegoers gets the humorless schlock it deserves.
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