Blame it all on a universe scorned — for not only having to deal with the prospect of Alanis Morrissette and Ryan Reynolds splitting up, but for having to come to terms with the fact that all the former got by way of a consolation prize was a crappy arc on a show that sometime ago dipped from spectacular to sucktacular. The latter, meanwhile, got to put a ring on Scarlett Johansson. I know, you think to yourself that because your last album was an underperforming pile of blips and fancy-sounding words, the world is unfair. Especially if you were replaced by a woman whose acting can basically be summarized similarly. But because everything is full circle and karma tends to work most effectively in Hollywood, RyRen and ScarJo have hit a snag. Now, their wedded bliss is all but unraveling.
At Comic-Con, where lives truly are changed forever, both Reynolds and Johansson were due to pimp out Green Lantern and Iron Man 2 respectively. But then, trouble!
They clashed so furiously that Reynolds told Johansson she could go all by her lonesome before locking himself in the bathroom. This may or may not have culminated in ScarJo nearly chucking her wedding band and breaking into a heart-wrenching performance of this particular Tom Waits classic. The culprit for this particular bit of unrest in Shangri-La? Possibly Johansson’s tobacco use. But that’s unlikely. More probable is that this is just a case of growing pains as the couple approaches their one-year anniversary. Remember, one year of married fidelity in Real People Time equals about eight years in Hollywood Standard Time.
Adds a source who very well could’ve been Thora Birch, as she and Johansson were best friends in Ghost World: “Ryan pulled out at the last minute and word spread fast. He isn’t making a show of good faith to the Warner team after they battled over the decision making him Green Lantern. Scarlett ended up looking like the true professional and acted as if nothing was wrong, answering questions for fans and posing for pictures. It was not a good way for Ryan to begin his work as the star of the movie.” And Thora would know all about the consequences of poor career choices, wouldn’t she?