Robert Pattinson’s Horrible Fans Bind Him to Hotel Room

Kids these days! With their Nintendo Wiis, chia pets, bánh mì, and blatant disregard for celebrity privacy! Apparently droves of fangirls have forced Robert Pattinson to hole up in his posh hotel lest he get trampled, gored, or other gruesome things that make us fondly recall the second season finale of True Blood (even though he’s in the tank for Twilight). Apparently you fangirls have basically crushed his social life and probably his will to live. Which is why he may be depressed and not bathing. See how all of you have decimated his personal happiness, after the break!

One of Pattinson’s less-famous Eclipse co-stars, “I don’t think he gets to hang out with many people because he’s sort of jailed to his room. He can’t leave without being followed by a hundred people. There’s a price to fame. But hopefully he’s handling it okay.” Other costs of fame for Pattinson: unfortunate links to Kim Kardashian, and comparatively less unfortunate links to Kelly Clarkson.

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