Pros and Cons of ‘Predators’

Last night, against my will, I was dragged to see the new Predators movie with Adrien Brody, Topher Grace, Alice Braga, and Laurence Fishburne. After 106 minutes of stewing in disbelief that this movie was actually made, I compiled a list of ‘Cons.’ My movie-going partner, who’s been a fan of the original Governator-starring Predator since 1987, was somehow watching the same movie and came up with a list of ‘Pros’. Two different perspectives after the jump. Spoiler alert.

Pros: -It had great references to and drew on imagery from the the first Predator. -The Morpheus (Laurence Fishburne) cameo was fantastic. –That 70’s Show guy (Topher Grace) was awesomely creepy. -There’s a new breed/species of a more-advanced Predator creature in this one. -The chain machine is back (from the first movie). -The dialogue is just as complex and deep as in the first movie. -There is a great ninja fight scene with samurai swords.

Cons: -The whole human-hunting thing on a game preserve reminds me of John Leguizamo’s terrible ’90s movie, The Pest. -Wait, where’s Schwarzenegger? -It takes way too long for the Predators to appear. This tactic doesn’t build suspense, it encourages boredom and forced me to focus on the bogus dialogue. -Adrien Brody is not believable as a jacked-up, muscular, ex-mercenary leading man. I don’t buy it, Robert Rodriguez. Was Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson busy or something? -People keep saving Topher Grace and then being killed themselves. That doesn’t make sense. Topher doesn’t even have a knife, he’s just dead weight. Unrealistic. -Alice Braga makes the tie-in to the first movie by sobbingly admitting to the group that she knows what the Predators are, thanks to a massacre in her home country of Guatemala. We could have figured it out on our own. Yawn. -After Predator 2, Alien vs. Predator, and Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem , it’s high time to put this one to bed. But, no, of course, the ending of this one leaves room for plenty more Predator installments for years to come.

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