So late last week, in the middle of an otherwise grim and terrible news week, there was one weird, darkly funny moment that provided a brief escapist reprieve. I’m talking, of course, about the rather strongly worded leaked letter a member of Delta Gamma Sorority at the University of Maryland wrote to her sisters demanding they be less awkward in interactions with their Greek Week partners. The letter ended up on Gawker, likely introduced a certain vulgar rhyming phrase to quite a few unsuspecting readers and instantly gave the chapter and the writer Internet notoriety.
And, as often happens, dramatic readings of this beautiful trainwreck followed, some on YouTube and others in the privacy of living rooms all over the country. (Some of you may have discovered its particularly wondrous quality when reading it in a bad Katherine Hepburn voice, and by “some of you” I mean “me.”) FunnyOrDie employed Oscar-nominated actor Michael Shannon, known for his intense roles in intense things like Revolutionary Road and Boardwalk Empire, to do a dramatic reading of the letter. And it is indeed pretty intense. Watch below if you need a little catharsis to get through today.