Michael Bay to World: ‘Actually, Teenage Alien Ninja Turtles Sounds Way Better’

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is a surprisingly easy concept to work with: You make sure the turtles are teenaged, mutants and ninjas, and everything basically follows from there. Not for Michael Bay, who is producing an upcoming live-action revival of the merchandising octopus. Speaking at the Nickelodeon Upfront, Bay hinted that the revamped turtles might be aliens, and not mutants. “When you see this movie, kids are going to believe, one day, that these turtles actually do exist when we are done with this movie," he said. "These turtles are from an alien race and they are going to be tough, edgy, funny and completely lovable.” TANT doesn’t quite have the same ring, does it? Now’s as good a time as any to point out this eerily prescient Onion article from a few years ago.

But let’s not get this completely twisted before we take to the forums: Maybe Bay just chose his words poorly and meant alien in the literal definition of "unlike one’s own" or "foreigner." In that case, mutant turtles would indeed qualify as an alien race. Or it could just be that he really doesn’t give a damn and is down to troll as hard as he can because wow you guys who is over the age of 15 and seriously even giving a crap about whether some giant kung-fu-doing anthropomorphized turtles in headbands are mutants or aliens or pirates or seapunks? It’s made for the youth of today, not twenty years ago. Children’s standards regarding cartoon authenticity don’t exactly recall the Grand Inquisition.

The new Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is supposed to be out on Christmas 2013 and will be an excellent way to tell your family you hate them.

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